


An Escape

by lrhaboggle



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: 4x22, F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lesbian Lena Luthor, Minor Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Minor Romance, Minor Samantha "Sam" Arias/Lena Luthor, Post-Canon, ReignCorp, Romance, Sad Lena Luthor, Sequel, SuperCorp, post-canon reveal, post-reveal, slight romance, supergirl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-17 09:41:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18962692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lrhaboggle/pseuds/lrhaboggle
Summary: Lena still hasn't confronted Kara about The Secret. Instead, she has turned to Sam for comfort and help. Luckily, the Arias House is always open to the Luthor, and she finally takes Sam up on her offer for a visit, an escape from all of her worries, at least for a little while...





	1. Creature Comforts

"Lena!" Sam's eyes widened in surprise and delight as she opened her apartment door and saw Lena waiting on the other side of it.

"Hey," the Luthor replied with a shy, soft smile. Her head was ducked slightly, as though she was already trying to apologize for "intruding". Sam only gave the woman a pitying smile. Typical Lena. It didn't matter that this get-together had been Sam's idea, of course Lena would find some way, somehow, to blame herself for it, acting as though her presence was an inconvenience instead of an absolute delight. Sam really had missed seeing Lena for the entire past year, and after hearing about (and then seeing firsthand) how hard it had been on the Luthor, Sam had all but forced Lena to visit, begging her at least once a day to come over to Metropolis, continually reminding her that the Arias home would forever be open to her. Now Lena was finally here. Sam grinned broadly and opened her apartment door even wider, gesturing happily for the Luthor to come in.

Lena's shyness fell away as she stepped through the door and, despite herself, she couldn't stop a smile. There was something so homey and welcoming about Sam's apartment and Lena felt better and safer just by stepping inside. For a second, she forgot all of her troubles, and this apartment really had become her own. The gentle lighting, the coziness of the room, the soft hum of various electrical appliances, the warmth of the room. All of it was so natural and comforting, and all of it was just for her. For just one second, Lena felt like she really was coming home. Nothing else mattered now. She turned around to smile at Sam who was smiling back as she shut the door behind them. God, how Lena had missed this!

"Did you want anything to eat or drink?" Sam asked as she walked over to the fridge, pointing to it once she reached it.

"No, I'm fine," the Luthor shook her head politely in response to Sam's offer.

"Ok," Sam shrugged, then she pulled out a larger pitcher of water. "You sure?" and Lena couldn't stop a soft laugh. Sam had always been very hospitable and friendly. Maybe it was the mother inside of her, or maybe it was just in her gentle and caring nature, but Sam had always been the Mom Friend of Lena's circle. Offering food, drink and other amenities and creature comforts had always been her forte.

"Maybe just a small glass," Lena finally allowed, knowing that Sam would not be content unless Lena drank something. Sam gave her a thankful smile before pulling out two glasses from the cupboard nearby.

While Sam poured the drinks, Lena felt another amused smile tug at her lips, though there was a sort of sadness and fear to this smile. What would Sam have thought if she could've seen Lena just a few hours ago? Back then, Lena had still been at work, busy and alone in her office at L-Corp. But while she had been working away at her computer, she'd been drinking heavily. Without even meaning to, glass after glass of amber liquid had burned its way down her throat. Even after the flavor had come sour and even after the burn had become numbed, Lena kept on drinking, just because it felt like the only thing she knew how to do anymore. It was one of her more sinful creature comforts. There was something familiar about the bottle, and Lena never hesitated to reach for it during a crisis. Today was no exception. What would Sam have thought if she had known what Lena had been doing just a few hours ago?

"Thank you," Lena bowed her head politely as she took her water glass from Sam. Sam smiled back at her before leading her over to the couch. Once they sat down, Sam kicked off her shoes and reclined into the cushions with a sigh. For a moment, then, the two old friends only sat together in silence. Neither of them made any move to start a conversation, and Lena was thankful for it. Although she had come here to talk to Sam, she had also come here to escape, escape her life back home, in National City. To be free to just sit here with Sam in silence was a blessing all of its own. She felt no pressure to speak and that was a relief to her. She'd had to do enough explaining already. It was nice to finally feel safe enough to just be silent. And Sam seemed in no hurry either, sipping on her drink with her eyes half shut as she continued to recline on the couch. Perhaps it was because Lena was with her again, but all of the fretfulness Lena had gotten from Sam over the phone about visiting was gone and all that remained was a very serene and peaceful woman. Lena both envied and admired this.

The silence carried on for a few minutes more, Lena slowly unwinding the longer and longer she remained in Sam's presence. The relaxed vibe that Sam was giving off slowly but surely infected Lena until she, too, found herself leaning comfortably back in her seat, muscles relaxing one by one. The silence was so peaceful and calming, not at all like the silence back at L-Corp, which had been tense and lonely and unnerving, echoing with words that had never been said, and the words that should've been said. Back there at L-Corp, the silence had been anticipatory, full of all the things that had been said, and things that had yet to be said. It had been a very full silence, and this was not a good thing. But the silence here, in Samantha Arias' cozy little apartment, was the good kind. It was natural, easy and relaxed. There was nothing at all awkward or forced or anticipatory about it. It was silence for the sake of silence, not silence awaiting noise. Here, silence was the destination, not the route, and it was like a paradise to Lena and the longer she basked in it, the calmer and calmer she began to feel. Then, she finally felt ready to speak.

Lena set her glass down on the small table in front of the couch. It was a small movement, but Sam could read body language very well. She knew what it meant and she decided to be the one to open the conversation, now that Lena felt ready for it.

"How was your drive over?" she asked as Lena lowered herself back onto the couch.

"It was good," Lena replied, nodding her head a little. Although the traffic had been a bit messy, especially while driving out of National City and then back into Metropolis, the simple act of knowing that she was leaving all of her messy and tangled past behind and going off to visit a friend for a while had made the drive incredibly easy and relaxing. It was relieving to know that with every mile she drove, she was going farther and farther away from her problems and closer and closer to what was tantamount to a mini vacation, an escape from all of her troubles and worries.

"That's good to know," Sam smiled as Lena continued to mentally rerun her path from National City to Metropolis. "Traffic wasn't too bad?"

"Not at all," Lena promised, now shaking her head.

"Good, good."

The silence lasted a little bit longer before Sam finally dove into the heart of the matter of why Lena was visiting.

"Have you confronted Kara about her secret yet?" she asked and, all at once, the homey and serene atmosphere of the apartment crackled with electricity and energy as nerves and walls slowly went up around Lena.

"No," she admitted, but there was an edge to her voice, as if daring Sam to press her further on the matter. Sam did.

"Have you seen her at all since-?" she began slowly, gently.

"A few times," Lena interrupted, voice soft but short.

"Well, so long as neither of you are in any rush," Sam tilted her head. She was completely unbothered by how Lena was reacting to these questions. She had expected it, of course, knowing what a painful topic it was for the Luthor.

But Lena stopped giving reactions there, unsure of what else to say on the matter and still not feeling quite ready to talk about it, even with Sam. Although Sam really had been a blessing, compassionate, understanding, supportive, helpful, encouraging and nonjudgmental, Lena still didn't like talking about Kara with anyone. And besides, Lena felt embarrassed to have to admit to Sam that despite their earlier chats, she still had made zero progress in confronting Kara over the matter. She had not actively sought Kara out, she had not let the Kryptonian know that anything was out of the ordinary, she made no move to ask, she never prompted Kara to try and start the discussion herself. Lena had just kept on living in silent pain, still responding positively whenever Kara was around, but only as a façade. In the few times Kara had visited Lena, Lena had put on a smile, but internally, she had been screaming and crying, but never once did a single complaint slip out of her mouth or expression.

Lena didn't want to have to admit that to Sam, that she still had no idea how to press this issue. She didn't want to have to admit to Sam that she still hadn't even begun to think of a way to broach the topic. She didn't want to have to admit to Sam that a small part of her was still so angry that part of the reason she was keeping her silence was in order to continue to revel in her bitterness. She didn't want to have to admit to Sam that her continued silence was born of fear, anger, worry and bitterness. It was not denial, because Lena was no longer capable of that. But it was still a similar sort of silence, with Lena refusing to acknowledge the situation, at least verbally.

Now she was keeping her own secrets from Kara, and about the very same thing Kara used to keep secret from her: Supergirl's identity. A small part of Lena wanted to keep it that way and to hurt Kara just as deeply as Kara had hurt her. Even though she knew such a decision was petty and immature and likely to cause more problems than it solved, the Luthor just couldn't bring herself to take the high road any longer, and she was more than willing to keep this secret from Kara just as long as Kara had kept her secret from Lena. Two could play at that game and Lena certainly would not go down without getting at least a little bit of revenge for what Kara had and hadn't said to her.

But how could she admit this to Sam? Admit that part of the reason she had yet to talk to Kara was out of her own desire to hurt Kara right back? It wasn't something Lena was very proud of. But then again, so was Kara.

"Don't worry, you'll get there eventually, just give it time," Sam finally advised as Lena continued to glare down at her lap. "You don't need to move fast, I just didn't think you'd want to be stuck in such an awkward limbo for that long."

"My entire life has been an awkward limbo," Lena scoffed back at Sam. "I can wait a few more years.

"Years?" Sam echoed with a dismayed face. "Lena!" but when she saw Lena slowly starting to turn her head away, Sam quickly composed herself. As much as she wanted to shake some sense into Lena, she knew it would be of no use. Force never solved anything. At least in cases like this. What Lena really needed was someone who was on her side (so to speak, though Sam liked to consider herself impartial on this matter). Accusing Lena would do no one any good, even though it felt like the most natural thing to do. So Sam quickly quieted herself, pulling herself back in.

"If you think that will work, then no judgment, I promise," Sam said, even raising her right hand as she spoke. It was enough to get Lena to look at her again, though there was an incredulous and guarded light in her eyes now. But Sam remained stalwart in her oath.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do," she promised. "I'll give advice and suggest what I would do, but only you can decide what happens from here on out. If you want to do this, to keep a secret from Kara, I won't stop you. It isn't totally unfair for you to want to do this. I'm just saying that it's going to be awkward and painful for you to try and hold out for that long."

"Like I said before, Sam, my entire life has been an awkward limbo," Lena repeated, voice low and hollow. "I can wait a few years. Besides, after all that Kara has done, what is a few years? If she was able to lie to me for that long, with no regrets, then so can I!" the Luthor muttered fiercely.

"How long was it?" Sam asked gently.

"Three years," Lena replied coldly. "We met one year before you came into the picture, and then she lied the entire year you were here, and then she lied all throughout this past year while you were gone."

"Wow," Sam muttered. "Didn't realize Kara, of all people, had that in her."

"Nor did I," a bitter smile stretched across Lena's face.

"And you think you can keep up your own lie for that long?" Sam coaxed, doing her best to keep the warning tone out of her voice.

"I'm a Luthor," Lena replied, and Sam was sad to realize how satisfactory and complete of an answer that was. Maybe it didn't seem like anything other than an unrelated statement, but there was so much history and meaning loaded up into that simple phrase that Sam knew that Lena was right. Even if Lena was the Token Good Luthor, she still had some very Luthor traits, and she, of all people, would be able to lie and manipulate and deceive if necessary, especially if no one suspected her.

Sam felt her heart break a little at the idea, not wanting to see her best friend become warped with a thirst for vengeance. It was exactly what destroyed Lex after all. And it hurt Sam even more because she used to be part of this friend circle. She knew everyone Lena was talking about. It didn't just hurt her to realize that they had lied to her just as unrepentantly as they had lied to Lena, but it hurt her to think that something like a civil war between the group may begin in the future. Sam didn't want to watch her circle of friends tear itself apart from the inside out. She didn't want her friends to fight. She didn't want the people she loved getting hurt, and by each other no less, but that seemed to be the path they were all on at the moment. Kara's secret was just too big to not have any negative repercussions.

But even so, Sam still knew it was not her place to call Lena out or try and correct her behavior (not yet at least, but if Lena did ever try to go full-on Lex, then Sam might start taking a bit more control over the situation). All she was supposed to do right now was help talk Lena through her feelings and keep an eye on her. She wasn't supposed to act as Lena's keeper just yet. But she really hated to see such a beautiful friendship shatter so completely, and she hated it even more to see what it was doing to Lena.

Sam knew Lena would never follow her brother's path and Sam knew that Lena would never become as heartless, careless, selfish and violent as he had, but a vengeance-seeking, hollow shell was not quite as out of the question. Lena held grudges, she was wary and distrustful. Those who betrayed her, never gained her forgiveness. To combine a woman like that with a tragedy like this could easily bring out the Luthor in her, and even though Sam knew that Lena would never go on a personal vendetta as terrible as the one Lex had gone on against Superman, it wasn't out of the question to expect Lena to try at least a little bit of revenge against Kara. That was what worried Sam most of all. Lena would not become Lex, but Lex had already set the villainy bar so high that that wasn't saying too much. Lena didn't have to become as evil as Lex in order to be a threat, both to herself and anyone who knew her. That was what Sam was worried about. Lena. She was worried about Lena.

"So, what will you do next?" Sam asked after a few more minutes of silence.

"I don't know," Lena replied airily, but she was being serious. She genuinely had no idea what her next steps would be, nor even what she _wanted_ them to be. Even if she did manage to keep her own secrets for the next three years just the way Kara had, how would that go? What would she say and do for the next _three years_? Would she even be able to pretend to still care about and fully trust Kara for another three years? Or would she blow up before then? And even if she did manage to survive all three years of deceit, that still left her back at square one: how would she confront Kara about this issue? Or would she choose silence instead? There really was no easy answer to this question and not for the first time did Lena bitterly curse Kara for not telling her years ago. It would've made things so much quicker and easier.

Lena could get behind secrets, and she could get behind _this_ secret, but its duration of three years after all she had done to prove herself as a good and worthy person were unacceptable. The way Lena saw it, she should've been kept in the dark for a _maximum_ of two years, not three! And given the fact that Kara still technically hadn't told Lena, this meant the duration of the secret hypothetically extended way beyond three years. _That_ was the unacceptable part. And Lena knew it was only going to get worse with each passing day, like a snowball rolling down a hill, but Lena almost wanted it to. She almost wanted to drag it out just so she could revel in her bitterness even more, even though she now had the power to end it all. She could call Kara out that very day and just be done with it, but it was like looking at a car crash, Lena just couldn't stop, and a small part of her wanted to see just how much longer this masquerade could hold up. That way, she would be even more justified when she finally did snap.

Sam could see Lena's face shifting subtly as these sadistic and vengeful thoughts continued to swirl around in her mind. Although they wanted to make Sam sigh and shake her head, she knew that Lena still needed to get all of her blinding anger out of her system before that good anger would come into play. Until that day came, these thoughts would just have to keep on going, and all Sam could do was help the poor, lonely Luthor wait them out.

Sam took another sip of her water and masked a sigh. It really was a complicated problem and no clear answer for either side presented itself. Sam could see why Lena was so frustrated, but she could also imagine how unhappy Kara must've been. No one who kept a secret for three years was truly happy or secure in their identity. There must've been another reason Kara had kept her silence for so long! But that was the problem: since both sides were right and wrong at the same time, what feasible answer and common place could come out of this? There didn't seem to be an escape for anyone. Everyone was going to suffer from the fallout, not just Lena and Kara. But any potential solution was just as much a mystery to Sam as it was to anyone else, including Lena and Kara themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Just as promised, here's a "sequel" to my previous ReignCorp post-reveal fic. Sorry it took so long to get out! And I have it written in quotes because it doesn't necessarily have to be "canon" since this fic implies that Lena still hasn't talked to Kara, even though you could feasibly interpret it that Lena DOES talk to Kara at the end of my previous fic (the cliffhanger phone call).
> 
> For anyone who was hoping for this sequel to be a "Lena talks to Kara", the reason I don't plan on ever writing that story out is because I literally don't know how to write it. I don't know how the two will react and I don't know what they'll say or do and I don't even know who would start the conversation. Consider all the speculation in this chapter to be as close as we're getting to my interpretation of what Lena will do next, because I really have no clue. Sorry to disappoint. 
> 
> But I hope the ReignCorp fluff was good! The next chapter will have even more if that's what you're looking for. (Plus, of course, more speculation on how Lena will confront Kara).


	2. Secret Identity

Sometime during another silent interval in Sam and Lena's conversation, Sam's phone vibrated. When she pulled it out of her pocket and switched it on, an amused smile quickly graced her face. Lena knew instantly who it must've been.

"Ruby?" she guessed, a small smile of her own creeping across her face. She really was very fond of the little Arias.

"Of course!" Sam replied, still smiling at her phone as she texted a reply. "Ruby said that she managed to find a friend who'll take her home from soccer practice today and that she should be back in 20 minutes or so."

"Ah," Lena sat up suddenly. "Then I suppose I should be on my way."

"Wait, hold on, what?" Sam laughed, confounded, as Lena got up off the couch. Sam grabbed onto the hem of her shirt to stop her.

"Well, I don't want to still be here when Ruby gets back," Lena said, as if this remark should've been obvious to Sam. "I don't to intrude upon your mother-daughter time! Thank you again for having me over."

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no," Sam laughed. "You get back here this instant!" she gave Lena's shirt a hard tug and the Luthor collapsed back onto the sofa. "You ain't going nowhere," she continued to laugh as Lena looked stunned. Sam was stronger than she looked. "Ruby has been dying to see you all day and you're staying for dinner," the older Arias insisted.

"I-I- I'm sorry, what?" Lena sounded genuinely confused.

"Lena. You're staying for dinner. Alright? You don't need to go back just yet! Stay here for a while! Stay with us!" Sam's playful expression changed into one of sincerity and expectancy.

"But I don't want to be a-" Lena began nervously.

"Then stay," Sam interrupted calmly. "Heaven knows what Ruby will do to me if she found out you left before she got to say hello."

"But I don't want to-" Lena tried again, but Sam was insistent.

"Lena, please, listen to me," she begged and, hearing the genuine sincerity in Sam's voice, Lena finally shut up. "Ruby really has been anxious to see you. I told her that you haven't been feeling very well of late and she wants to see if she can cheer you up. She really would be upset if you left before she got to say hello. Neither she nor I have forgotten how much you've done for her during that year when Reign took over. We're both eternally grateful and she would be genuinely hurt if you left without seeing her first. So please, stay for dinner!"

For a moment, there was only silence as Sam peered longingly into Lena's eyes. Lena continued to look uncertain and nervous, but the longer and longer that Sam held her gaze, the more and more Lena felt her resolve crumbling. Sam had a point. It would be rude of her to go without seeing Ruby first. Besides, what did she have to get back to? Everyone knew she was going to be away for a couple of days. She had nothing urgent back "home" to attend to, so staying here was not a problem for her. Besides, could she deny how tempting the idea was? To stay here just a little bit longer? To keep on forgetting the crazy world she left behind and keep on pretending that this sweet, simple, domestic life was her own? So Lena finally relented.

"But how much did you tell Ruby?" the Luthor asked, genuinely curious.

"Only that you and the Superfriends had a falling out after your most recent battle against Lex. I told her that seeing your brother again like that wasn't easy for you, and it left things a little strained between them and you," Sam replied seriously.

"And did you tell her about Supergirl's true identity?" Lena demanded, narrowing her eyes as she asked this.

"No," Sam spoke with conviction. "It is not my place to tell."

"But Sam-!" Lena protested, finally growing upset.

"But nothing," Sam interrupted, this time refusing to listen to anything else Lena had to say against Kara. "I know she hurt you and I know she lied to you and you have every right to be angry, but this fight is between you and her, not her and Ruby. If Kara still hasn't told Ruby, then I don't have any more of a right to spill her secret."

"But Sam! How can you not be upset by this?" Lena looked betrayed, temper flaring dangerously, but Sam remained calm.

"I am," she said. "I am a little upset to think that Kara never told me either. I was part of your friend circle, remember? But either way, it is not my secret to tell. It is not my business to know. I have no right knowing any of her secrets or identities. I understand how hard it must be to realize that you were the only one out of the loop, but for me personally, I have to let it go. It is not my place to tell," Sam looked at Lena pleadingly.

"I'm not saying _you_ have to forgive her, but I already do. That's just a personal conviction of mine," Sam insisted. "Hurt as I am that she never told me either, I cannot get mad at her because I have no right to know. Nor does Ruby. If it's her secret, it's her secret. I understand how much harder it must be for you because you were closer to her and you had known her for longer, but as for me? I don't hold it against her at all..." Sam trailed off as a bitter smirk slowly spread across her face. "Besides," she said. "Do you think Supergirl is the only one with a secret identity?"

"But Reign was a monster!" Lena cried. "Wishing to keep that a secret was totally understandable! And you had no control over her!"

"I didn't mean Reign," Sam replied, that bitter smile still on her face.

"What?" Lena's righteous anger turned once again to confusion. Sam then obliged to tell the tale...

"When I first found out I was pregnant, I was terrified. It wasn't supposed to have happened, but I still knew even from that very first day that I wanted to keep it, _her_ , but I didn't tell my mother. For the longest time, as long as I was able to hide my pregnancy, I did. I didn't tell anyone. Not any of my friends, not any of my family, not any of my peers and not any adult. I kept it all undercover. Consider it my version of a secret identity," Sam paused to give a dry laugh before continuing on.

"Of course, in the end, there did finally come a day when I couldn't hide any longer and Mom found out. She was furious, as you well know. We went back and forth over what we were supposed to do, and one of the things that angered her the most was the fact that I didn't tell her right away. She demanded to know why I would ever keep something like this from her and I told her that it was because I was afraid of this very scenario, this very reaction. I kept my secret from her because I was worried that she would react exactly the way she did."

"Are you saying that this is why Kara kept her own secret for so long?" Lena interrupted, narrowing her eyes suspicious again. "She was worried that I'd "overreact" so she thought hiding was the better option?!"

"Perhaps," Sam allowed. "But it wasn't just that. It was because, as strained as my relationship with my mom had been, she was still my mom, and she still really had raised me well. I didn't keep the secret just because I didn't trust her, but because I didn't want her to think badly of me. Or at least, any more badly than she already did. I didn't just hide the secret out of shame, embarrassment or distrust, but out of a genuine fear that she would no longer love me if she ever found out that I, her own daughter that she had worked so hard to raise, had been "whoring" herself out after school only to get knocked up by sleeping with some no-good delinquent punk who would never be a good father, or even a good human!"

Sam paused to shake her head, these memories still clearly very unpleasant to her, but she continued on nonetheless.

"I didn't just want to hide Ruby, I wanted to hide myself. I wanted my mother to still love me, and see me as good. How could she when I came home at the age of 16, pregnant and alone? Now, maybe I was wrong, maybe if I had come to her sooner, things might've been better, but I was so worried, that hiding seemed like the better option. Until it wasn't. Then, when I could hide no longer, I had to suffer the fallout not just of telling Mom about a teen pregnancy, but of telling her that I had kept it a secret from her for so long."

Sam paused, not to collect her thoughts, but to allow Lena to collect her own. If there were any parallels between Sam's story with her mother and Lena's own with Kara, Sam wanted her to see them now.

"But a secret identity is different than a teenage pregnancy," Lena said lamely. "One is far more common than the other and the difference between you and me is that Kara and I had had an excellent relationship. Why would she ever be afraid that I would reject her because of her alter ego?"

"Who knows?" Sam shrugged sincerely. "But sometimes, the human mind works in very strange ways. I was terrified that my mom would reject me if I told her the truth, so I didn't. Though of course, we all know what happened after that," Sam gave another harsh and bitter laugh, but then her face softened as a second story came into her mind.

"There was actually another girl I knew back in high school who had a story very similar to ours. She was a very out and very proud queer person, and she made no attempt to ever hide that part of her identity from anyone. She was out to anyone she ever even came into contact with: friends, enemies, strangers, you name it! But she flat-out refused to tell her parents."

"Well, were her parents homophobic?" Lena asked, eyebrows knitting in concern.

"Not at all!" Sam replied. "And that was the weirdest, funniest thing of all. She knew her parents were supportive, she knew they were pro-LGBT, she knew that her parents would accept her and never even think about trying to change her, but for some reason, she never ever came out to them. She never told them anything. She would gladly come out to strangers and she would flaunt her homosexuality around homophobic people, but she seemed afraid of the idea of coming out to her parents. Her own parents, who were nothing but supportive, and who were the most loving and important people in her life. Her queerness became a secret identity when her parents were around, but I think I might know why..." Sam paused, lips twitching up at the memory.

"I think her parents' love was the very reason she was so closeted around them. In her mind, being queer was still somewhat of a negative and strange thing. She didn't want her parents to have to deal with a "negative" or "strange" daughter. Because of that, she hid that side of herself from them. She could tolerate being weird and different around strangers, enemies and friends, because she didn't care what they thought. But she could not tolerate the idea of being weird and different around her family, the people whose opinions mattered more to her than anything else. I think that, in a way, their love and acceptance was what made her feel the most ashamed, as backwards as that may sound. She loved her parents so much that she wanted to be perfect and normal for them and any perceived flaw or sin on her part kept her quiet. So she never told them about that part of her life, even though she gladly flaunted it for everyone else..."

Lena nodded slowly as Sam finished her story. With growing sorrow, she realized that understood exactly what Sam was getting at with that example. It was somewhat reminiscent of the "kill them with kindness" adage. That adage implied that the best way to defeat an enemy was not to kill them or to be stronger than them, but to turn them into a friend. Be kind to them until they felt guilty for being evil. Was this what Sam's old friend had felt like? Had she felt so much love for her parents that she considered it an obligation to be as "normal" as possible for them?

"I'm starting to think that maybe Kara wasn't as secure in her alien identity as we have come to think," Sam murmured as they both stared off unseeingly into space. It was a lot to take in, and definitely food for thought, but Lena couldn't deny some small understanding of it all. Just for one second, then, she began to think about Kara in the first non-angry, non-judgmental way since she first learned Kara's secret. Had Kara kept her identity secret from Lena out of fear? Had Kara kept her identity secret from Lena out of a desire to be normal for her? Had Kara kept her identity secret from Lena out of a desire to have one relationship where she could forget the "weird" side of herself and become fully normal and human? Was Kara truly so ashamed of herself that she felt like secrecy was the only answer?

But then that begged the question of why Lena had been that special "only one" to remain in the dark about Kara's truth. Why was she the one Kara wanted to be normal for? Why was she the one Kara decided to place her humanity upon? But this question was not able to be analyzed before the front door to the apartment swung open again. Ruby was home! Now the fun could really begin...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Some more speculation, but I promise next chapter will be the fluffy one where Lena gets some much-needed relief and family-bonding time with Sam and Ruby. Plus dinner, which is always good, LOL. 
> 
> Also, just saying, that girl who came out to everyone but her parents was a composite character of me, Alex Danvers, and a few of my friends. All of us came out to our parents last because we wanted to be normal for them, because we felt obliged to, and we were all still somewhat in the closet. We felt safer coming out to friends and strangers before parents, because we had the most to lose with them. 
> 
> (Let me just say that Alex's coming out scene to Eliza was actually amazing and I wish that any potential SuperCorp reconciliation scene happens in a similar manner. I freaking LOVE Alex's "You always wanted me to have a regular life" line in that scene).


	3. Noodle Incident

"Lena! Hi!" Ruby's face lit up like the sun the moment she walked in through the door and saw her mother sitting side by side on the couch with one of her many Cool Aunts. Lena and Sam had turned around to greet Ruby and Lena's own face split into a grin as Ruby came closer.

"You're getting big!" Lena smiled in delight, tilting her head fondly as Ruby raced over to the couch.

"Isn't she?" Sam grinned proudly, then she got up first as Ruby raced into her arms for a bear hug. Lena was next up, Ruby racing around the couch to wrap her arms tightly around the Luthor.

"Oof!" Lena gasped. Sam wasn't the only one who was stronger than she looked. Sam, meanwhile, laughed. Watching Lena Luthor receive a hug was perhaps the cutest and saddest thing she'd ever seen, because the poor woman always looked so genuinely surprised when it happened (seriously, just how touch-starved was she?) but once she got over her initial shock, she was always very quick to start smiling and return the hug with the same verve with which it was given to her.

Once Ruby finally pulled away, she began to inspect Lena.

"Are you feeling alright?" she asked, tilting her head and looking at Lena intently.

"Yes, I'm fine," Lena smiled gently, then she turned to look up at Sam with grateful eyes. "Your mother has been a huge help."

"Glad to hear it," Ruby grinned up at her mother as well, who winked back at her.

"She'll be staying for dinner!" the older Arias declared proudly.

"Really? Awesome!" Ruby turned her excited gaze back onto Lena. Time and tragedy had taken nothing from her bright, happy spirit. If anything, she seemed even more lively now than she had last year, and it was as if time had changed nothing about her (except her height, which had increased just a little). Lena found Ruby's smile and positive energy infectious.

"It's so good to see you again," the Luthor told the younger Arias.

"And you as well!" Ruby promised sincerely. "It's been so long!"

"Too long, in fact," Sam chimed in, crossing her arms and smirking a little.

"That's accurate," Ruby nodded, still grinning broadly, and Lena gave a little laugh.

"How could I possibly go without first saying hi to my "niece"?" she asked and Ruby straightened her back, eyes filling with pride that Lena considered her a niece. To Ruby, it was more than just a cute or friendly remark, it was a sign of mutual respect and admiration. Ruby honestly did see Lena as something of an aunt, so to hear that Lena saw her as something of a niece was way cool.

"By the way, do you like my shirt?" Ruby asked playfully. It was a plain gray tee, but taped onto the front was a photo of the L-Corp logo.

"Oh my god," Sam embarrassedly hid her face in her hand.

"Well I had to wear it _today_!" Ruby defended playfully. "I had to show off a bit of my Luthor pride!"

"Your Luthor pride, eh? Is that what they're calling it these days?" Lena asked dryly, but she secretly found Ruby's shirt to be adorable. In her opinion, there was nothing to be embarrassed about, though Sam seemed to think otherwise.

"Just go get your homework finished, then you can start helping us make dinner," Sam sighed with an affectionate smile.

"Ok!" Ruby nodded a quick farewell to her mother and her "aunt" before scampering away to her bedroom.

"Well, she's lively as ever," Lena smiled as she watched the girl run off. She was so cute and sweet and kind!

"No kidding," Sam rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. She was clearly surprised, and maybe even a little impressed, at the fact that Ruby had decided to show Lena a warm welcome not just by hugging her, but also by wearing an L-Corp shirt. It was then that both women briefly wondered if creating officially licensed L-Corp shirts would actually work. Would anyone wear them? Would it be possible to make a dress code around it? Probably so, but it would be a silly endeavor, so both Sam and Lena quickly put it out of their minds, but it was still an entertaining idea.

While Ruby zoomed through her homework, Sam and Lena got a jumpstart on dinner.

"I'm starting to realize why you asked me to stick around," Lena teased as she and Sam sat everything out.

"Free labor is always appreciated, boss," Sam smirked back, sticking her tongue out a little at the Luthor.

"It's coming out of your paycheck," Lena replied with a warning look, but the twinkle in her eyes gave away the humor in her voice.

"I think I can afford one paycheck," Sam replied confidently and Lena could only shake her head with a laugh. God, she had missed this!

In time, Ruby came back out of her room.

"Oh! Pasta!" her eyes widened as she realized that all the ingredients that Sam and Lena had set out would be used to make noodles, by hand. The little machine, the pasta maker, was all set up and waiting at the edge of the counter, several globs of flour-covered dough sitting beside it.

"Great! You're just in time to help out with the fun part!" Sam teased, her and Lena's hands already covered in white powder. Ruby had no reserves or qualms about jumping right on in, ready and willing to get her hands (and everything else) quite dirty.

"You remember the last time we did this and we managed to get flour on the ceiling?" Ruby asked with a nostalgic smile as she cranked out another noodle from the pasta maker.

"You what?" Lena snorted as she held Sam roll out the dough balls.

"Hey, we do not speak of that incident here!" Sam pretended to warn both of her companions.

"Yeah, it's quite literally a Noodle Incident," Ruby snickered, "noodle incident" being a term for "an incident of the past that is referred to, yet never quite explained, potentially because it is too crazy or too embarrassing to retell".

"But even if I can't tell you, I can show you," Ruby added, a wicked gleam entering her dark eyes.

"What? Oh, no. No, no, no, no-" Sam warned, reaching out to stop Ruby, but it was too late. The girl lightly tossed a handful of flour, which had since started to accrue beneath the pasta maker, in Sam's direction.

"Gah!" Sam muttered as the flour hit her right in the chest. Lena let out a loud laugh but when Sam gave her a withering look, she quickly coughed and tried to hide her mouth behind her hand.

"Sorry," she muttered, not sounding sorry at all.

"Don't encourage her!" Sam whined.

"Oh, don't worry, Ma, I don't need encouraging!" Ruby boasted. "I'm crazy enough to do this all on my own!"

"Yes, I can tell," Sam muttered, rolling her eyes. "Flatten this out, why don't you?" she asked next as she handed her daughter another piece of dough. Right as Ruby leaned over to grab it, however, Sam quickly pushed her other hand forward and sent a flurry of flour right at Ruby.

"Gah!" Ruby shrieked as the white powder burst all over her chest and face. She blinked and coughed while Sam gave her a smug smile. Behind her, Lena was laughing out loud, no longer even trying to maintain her composure.

"Whoops," Sam shrugged innocently as she continued to smirk at Ruby. "I think I slipped!"

"Jerk," Ruby muttered, but Sam could see it in her eyes that this war was not over yet. Not by a longshot. Instead, it was only just beginning. Only this time, Lena was going to be joining the fray. Another noodle incident was in the making.

After some of the noodles had been suitably made and cut, Ruby carefully transferred them over to a pot resting upon the stove a few feet behind them. What Sam failed to notice, however, was the fact that Ruby didn't only take a handful of noodles over to the pot. Instead, there was a small clump of flour in her hands as well. Lena managed to see it and she caught Ruby's eyes, giving her a questioning look, but Ruby only smiled cheerfully at her before throwing the noodles into the pot... and then throwing the small handful of flour at her mother.

"Oh!" Sam flinched as she felt something collide with the back of her neck. She whipped around to see her daughter standing innocently beside the stove, but the mischievous look on her face made it all too clear what had just happened. Lena, meanwhile, had started to laugh once again.

It was so surreal to be a part of this intimate moment between the Ariases and Lena almost felt as though she were watching something that was meant to be private, but at the same time, there was still something so warm and welcoming about the Arias house that Lena already felt like a real part of the family, as though this was only another normal night in her life, watching her best friend and her "niece" goofing around with one another while they made dinner. There was something so foolish and childish, yet so sweet and natural about watching the mother and daughter interact so casually and playfully that it astounded Lena. Heaven knew her own family never got this wild. Dinners were either pre-bought, ordered or made by someone else, and in the rare event that a Luthor did try their hands at cooking, it was usually very serious and would occasionally end as a competition if multiple Luthors were in the kitchen. Never had Lena ever experienced anything as informal as this!

(Unless you counted that one time she and Lex had tried to make some foreign dish only for one of them to blow it up, which then led to a back-and-forth blame game where accusations and food were both flung violently, but all in good fun. Back then, the Luthor siblings had still been on the same side of everything. Back then, their fights were only play fights. Back then, their interactions were actually positive and peaceful and even enjoyable! Though neither Lionel nor Lillian had been too pleased to see such a messy kitchen, and even messier children. But it had been worth it, in Lena's mind, and it was one of her fonder memories with Lex. But that had been about the only time she'd ever been so relaxed and playful in that household).

Now here she stood, years later, watching a similar scene unfold, but all with so much grace and happiness. Lena felt like a spectator, but she also felt like a participant, and as she watched Sam and Ruby continue to playfight with the flour, Lena felt tears of genuine happiness and love well up in her eyes. There really was something so liberating about watching interactions like this and Lena finally decided to join in on the fun...

While Sam was distracted with Ruby, Lena swiftly grabbed a hand of flour. Since Sam's back was turned to Lena and since Ruby was facing Sam, this meant that Ruby caught sight of Lena grabbing up a fistful of flour. Her eyes widened, but one warning look from Lena turned her poker face back on and she continued to taunt her mother, all while carefully taking a step backward...

"Woah!" Sam yelped as she felt a rather large quantity of flour dusting down her back. She stood up and whipped around, eyes wide.

"You!" she cried, a dramatic expression of betrayal written on her face as she caught Lena white-handed.

"You can never trust a Luthor!" Lena sing-songed with a playful smirk.

"But I thought we were friends!" Sam continued to be dramatic.

"Thought," Lena replied smugly. Sam gave a gasp of mock-outrage before boldly grabbing a handful of flour and throwing it right at Lena's chest. Since Lena was only about three inches away from Sam, this created a rather large explosion of powder, which sent both Lena _and_ Sam coughing.

"Didn't think that one through!" Sam muttered as she gagged a little.

"It hurt itself in its confusion!" Ruby snickered, but she quickly regretted bringing attention to herself because then Sam and Lena _both_ ganged up on her. "Uh oh..." she muttered, then she gave Lena a pleading look. "I thought you were on my side!" she cried.

"You can never trust a Luthor!" Lena repeated with another proud smile.

"Ah. Fair enough," Ruby winced, then she had the good sense to start backing up, not that it helped very much.

"Hey!" she shrieked with laughter as Lena and Sam both doused her in flour. She quickly wiped some of the flour off of herself and retaliated, wiping it all over Sam's face.

"Hey!" Sam yelped right back as she felt her daughter rubbing her face with flour. Lena stepped back quickly, laughing all the while. Once Sam managed to escape Ruby's grasp and stand back up, then, Lena began to laugh even harder. The woman's face was nearly entirely white!

"Oh, ha, ha, very funny," she deadpanned before using Ruby's own move against her, wiping some of the flour off of her face before reaching out to give Ruby a little white flour mustache.

"If I sneeze everywhere, it's your fault," Ruby warned as she wriggled away from her mother's fingers.

"You look absolutely handsome," Lena snickered and Ruby pouted up at her, crossing her arms.

"Let's see how you like it!" she cried, rushing over to Lena, but formality stopped her at the last second and she paused with her hand outstretched towards Lena. It was clear that as fond as she was of the Luthor, she still wasn't sure about how lax Lena was. She paused before she could touch Lena's face, but Lena only playfully offered her cheek to Ruby. Ruby responded by drawing a heart on Lena's face, which deviated from her original plan, which would've been just to rub a handful of flour on her face until she was just as covered as Sam was.

"Awwwww," Sam smiled and Lena smiled as well, having felt what Ruby had drawn on her face. Not for the first time that night did Lena feel her heart swell with gratitude and love for the two people standing before her. She felt her eyes begin to water again, but she chalked it up to the flour, playfully swiping her thumb over Ruby's chin in order to give the girl a beard to match her mustache.

"Perfect," Sam snickered as she admired her daughter's new beard.

"At least I don't look like a polar bear," Ruby shot back, but she was grinning and adding more flour to her "facial hair". Lena watched fondly, still feeling Ruby's finger trace over her cheek in the shape of a heart.

Dinner took quite a while to finish but, once it was done, all three women were totally coated in flour and there was, once again, several large white spots on the ceiling of the apartment.

"Ah, so that's how it happened," Lena muttered as she, Sam and Ruby all looked upward.

"Told you," Ruby said, her mustache and beard still mostly intact.

"I thought we agreed never to speak of it?" Sam looked back down to shoot her daughter a look, her own face still totally covered in flour.

"So we didn't! I just showed her!" Ruby repeated smugly and Sam only rolled her eyes before going to check on the pasta. There was another noodle incident for the books! But out of the corner of her eye, she could see Lena smiling, and that made the entire mess so worth it!

The pasta was fantastic, but the only problem was that the cleanup was going to be a nightmare.

"Here, let me help," Lena muttered apologetically as Sam rose from the table.

"What? No! Don't be silly! We can get it later!" Sam cried dismissively, but for once, Lena would not agree. Instead, she got up to follow after Sam, returning to their flour-coated kitchen.

"Is it bad that I think we could successfully bake this entire apartment?" Sam asked as she assessed the damage.

"Here," Lena repeated. "Let me help clean up."

The next 45 minutes were spent just on getting the flour off of everything (including the ceiling).

"Ruby! Can you grab the stepstool from the closet?" Sam called out as she looked up at the spots on the ceiling. A few seconds later, Ruby was back with a little ladder in her hands.

"You know, you could've cleaned the ceiling just by mopping it, SpongeBob style," Ruby remarked as she set the stepstool down in front of Sam.

"Yeah, well, SpongeBob lives underwater. I don't think the physics of his world would quite match up with ours," Sam grunted as she climbed up the little stepladder to swipe at the flour stains on the ceiling.

"Well, then, I wish you could still fly!" the girl sighed as her mother continued to scrub the ceiling. It was a comical sight to be sure.

"I wish!" Sam snorted. "Because then I'd have my superspeed and we'd finish this kitchen in no time!" but the moment Sam said this, she suddenly cringed and looked back down at Lena, worrying that her words might have upset the Luthor, but Sam was pleasantly surprised to see an almost-girlish excitement and childish curiosity in Lena's eyes instead.

"Have you been displaying any Kryptonian traits?" she asked eagerly.

"No, for worse or for better," Sam laughed ruefully as she went back to cleaning the ceiling.

"Ah," Lena looked mildly disappointed.

"Why? Were you hoping I'd somehow become the next Kryptonian hero?" Sam dared to ask next, sensing that Lena was in a good enough mood to be able to stomach a joke like this.

"Maybe," Lena tilted her head playfully.

"Oooh! That would be so cool!" Ruby murmured. Then she turned to Lena. "Is there any way you can give mom her powers back? Or maybe give me them instead?" she asked hopefully.

"Sorry, but I'm afraid not, kiddo," Lena smiled sadly down at Ruby.

"Awww, you mean you haven't invented anything in your lab that could do that?" Ruby pouted teasingly.

"I make cures, not super-serums," Lena replied and neither Ruby nor Sam heard the bittersweet note that crept into her voice as she said this.

"Nuts," Ruby sighed disappointedly. "I was still holding out the hope of developing my own powers."

"Well, it is a possibility, I suppose," Lena mused. "You were, after all, born while Sam was still half Kryptonian."

"Are you serious?" Sam's voice suddenly became sharp as she hopped off of her stepstool. Understanding what had set her on edge, Lena was quick to reassure her and calm her back down.

"It's not likely, but even if it were true, several factor would prevent anything drastic from happening. For one, Ruby would only be half-Kryptonian. For another, she would be a natural and complete Kryptonian. She wouldn't be possessed, or have a split personality, the way you and Reign did," she explained. Sam looked only a little bit more relaxed about the idea. Ruby, however, looked amazed.

"You mean I might develop powers?" she asked eagerly.

"The odds are low," Lena warned. "And even if you did, they wouldn't be very strong. If you don't manifest any by the time you turn 18, I would put it out of your mind," she didn't mean to be so sharp, but she didn't want to raise false hope within the girl.

"Doesn't matter!" Ruby replied confidently. "It would be so awesome to be just like Supergirl!" but the second she said this, her eyes went wide and she slapped a hand over her mouth. Beside her, Sam visibly flinched. Lena felt her own heart twinge just a little as Kara's (other) name was spoken aloud, but she felt bad about making Sam and Ruby so afraid to speak the name so she struggled to keep her face neutral.

"Oh! Uhhh, I uhhh, didn't mean that," Ruby stuttered, looking quite embarrassed, ashamed and upset.

"Don't worry," Lena replied with a small, sad smile. "You'd make a far better Supergirl than Supergirl," she said. Ruby looked up at her with wide, hopeful eyes, and curiosity flickered within them as well, but she had the good sense not to ask. Though she was dying to know what on Earth had gone on to make Lena so miserable, she knew better than to pry. Instead, she only took Lena's compliment with an appreciative nod.

Beside her, Sam let out a tiny sigh of relief. She had cautioned Ruby not to mention the Girl of Steel or any of her friends while Lena was over to visit, and she had gone so far as to request that Ruby not wear her Supergirl necklace that day, but a mistake still happened. She was just glad that Lena showed no visible reaction to it, though she did want to address it later on to try and gage how Lena was feeling now after spending a quiet evening away from all of her worries.

The awkward moment ended when Lena gestured back to the rest of the cleaning that needed to be done and both of the Ariases took this change of topic gracefully and willingly. At last, then, everything was properly cleaned up and put away. By then, it was pitch black outside.

"Looks like you're gonna have to stay with us tonight," Sam said smugly.

"Why am I not surprised you set everything up this well?" Lena asked back with a tired smile. She had been just a few seconds away from offering to leave, already having a feeling that Sam would try to convince her to stay the night, and now here they were.

"We already have pillows and blankets for the couch!" Ruby smiled, heading off to go and fetch them.

"Yeah, well, I was hoping to sleep in a real bed tonight," Lena joked, but Ruby took her seriously.

"You can have my room, then," she offered, not joking in the slightest. "I'll take the couch."

"No, no, I couldn't do that to you," Lena smiled, warmth filling her heart again at how quickly and sincerely Ruby had been when she offered to give her bed up for Lena. She really was a good kid!

"Well then you can sleep with mom," Ruby said next with a shrug. "Her bed is big enough for two," and while Lena only laughed again, behind her, Sam blanched and looked mortified.

"Ruby!" she snapped.

"What?" the little Arias shrugged innocently.

"Why?" Lena asked at the same time, turning around to face Sam with a pleasant smile. "Not up for sharing your bed with me, even after you've shared everything else?" her tone was light and playful, but Sam, like Ruby, seemed to take the request seriously.

"No! Not at all! I, uhhh, I just, ummm," she stuttered and Lena was genuinely surprised by how visibly Sam was reacting to the simple idea of sharing a bed with Lena. It piqued Lena's curiosity and she raised her eyebrows as Sam continued to fumble for an excuse.

"Go on, mom, it's just one night!" Ruby said at last, trying to hurry her mother along.

"If she's not comfortable with it, I will take the couch," Lena replied, addressing Ruby but facing Sam.

"No! No! It's not that," Sam repeated, but once again, she found herself unable to explain properly.

"Mom, you can tell her," Ruby whispered meaningfully, but Sam looked uncertain.

"Is there something you wanted to talk about?" Lena asked, genuinely surprised and curious. "After all the complaining you've listened to from me, I'd be more than willing to listen to you. What's on your mind?" and Sam found herself feeling quite trapped, an innocently insistent Lena on one side and a smug little Ruby on the other.

"Ok, fine!" she muttered at last. "Lena can sleep with- she can sleep in my room."

"Ok," Ruby's tone was neutral, but her face twitched into the barest of smiles, which Sam narrowed her eyes at. Since Lena was still facing Sam, she missed that little smile, but she did catch Sam's own wince and found her more curious to know why Sam was so averse to having other people sleep in her bed. This seemed to go beyond the normal desire of keeping one's bed to one's self. Lena didn't want to pry, especially not if it would bring up painful memories, but if there was something Sam needed to get off her chest, Lena wanted to be the one that she talked to. She continued to gaze insistently at Sam while Sam relented.

"I'll tell you while we get ready for bed," she said, then she gestured for Lena to follow her away from the couch and back to her bedroom. Ruby followed them eagerly and then, once they reached Sam's bedroom door, they exchanged their goodnights.

"Goodnight, love," Sam murmured as she kissed Ruby gently.

"'Night, mom," Ruby replied affectionately as she returned Sam's kiss, then she turned to Lena with wide eyes. "Goodnight Lena, thank you for visiting, it was really nice to see you again."

"No, thank you for allow me to visit and help you make pasta," Lena whispered back, voice slightly choked up as she cautiously took Ruby into an embrace, which Ruby quickly reciprocated. Sam watched with a teary smile of her own. This was the first time Lena had initiated a hug with Ruby despite all the time they had spent together the previous year.

Then, once Ruby finally let go of Lena, she waved the Luthor and her mother one last goodnight before returning to her own bedroom. Both women watched her go until her own bedroom door was shut, then Sam opened her own.

"Shall we?" she asked, taking a deep breath in and Lena only gave her a reassuring smile in return before stepping inside of Sam's bedroom. Sam felt her heart begin to pound, but she followed Lena anyway and nervously shut the door behind them. Now, it was just her and Lena...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Here's Lena's sorely-needed, sorely-awaited fluffy family scene. Some of it is reminiscent of my own family whenever we make pasta by hand, but we've never got into a flour fight quite as fierce as the Ariases, LOL. Seriously wish this cuteness could be canon! We ALL need it, especially Lena. 
> 
> Next chapter is going to be more serious though, dealing with SuperCorp AND ReignCorp.


	4. Humanity

For the first few minutes, there was only silence between Sam and Lena, but to Lena, the silence was another natural and serene one. Sam, however, couldn't have disagreed more. While Lena got ready for bed, changing into the pajamas Sam had offered to her, Sam could only feel her stomach twisting into nervous knots. The entire 20 odd minutes the two spent getting ready for bed were 20 odd minutes that Sam spent trying to figure out how she was going to phrase her first question of the night to Lena.

At last, the two had climbed into bed together. It was then that Sam finally decided to just go for it.

"Before we get into my story, I have one last question about yours," she began.

"Shoot," Lena replied confidently.

"Well, feel free to not answer if it's too personal, because it really isn't that important to our previous discussions," Sam cautioned and, in one that moment, Lena's face fell just a little bit. This was going to be a question about Kara, wasn't it? But Lena wanted Sam to know that Sam could talk to her about anything, so she gestured for the Arias to continue.

"Don't worry," she said. "Ask me anything. I won't mind," so Sam did.

"I feel really bad about being so... intrusive, but... but... but were you and Kara ever a couple?" the last part of Sam's question all came out as one long word and, for a moment, Lena only stared at her dumbly, and Sam worried that Lena might not have understood because she had asked the question so fast. It filled her with dread, the prospecting of asking again, but right before she could repeat herself, slower this time, Lena answered. She had heard Sam perfectly, it was just the last question she'd ever expected to hear.

"No," she responded, but somehow, both of them already knew that it was more complicated than that. "Why do you ask?" the Luthor asked next, nonjudgmentally, but genuinely curious. The question had shaken her a little (ok, more than _a little_ ) but she wanted to know what had brought it about. She really had not expected Sam to choose this topic, of all topics, for tonight.

"Well," Sam began, slightly embarrassed. "It's just that, every time I saw you and Kara together, you two always seemed so close, and so happy! So I thought for sure you must've been a couple... That was why, when we had our little Girls' Night, I had asked if Kara was seeing anyone. I thought for sure you two were dating. And keep in mind that if you hadn't invited me along, that Girls' Night would've just been you and her, then Alex and Maggie. I assumed that it was a Danvers Double Date, so to speak. And it was why I had felt a little bit out of place at first. It was why I wanted to know if Kara was dating anyone, namely you, Lena. I mean, you two spent that entire night throwing really deep and meaningful looks at each other, and I was certain that there was at least a little bit of chemistry between you, at least one little spark, but then Kara said no. She said that she was still getting over a relationship, a guy who had moved away. I didn't really believe it at first. You two just kept on looking at one another with such passion and affection. How could I not assume? But I suppose Kara had been telling the truth about that one..."

Sam finally finished her story with a rueful smile while Lena could only sit there and blink. It was a lot to take in and she wasn't quite sure how to respond. Even after she managed to digest Sam's observations, she had no idea what to say. For a moment, then, there was only silence between the two of them, each woman trying to collect her thoughts before speaking again. Sam managed to find her words first, and she continued on while Lena continued to listen in an awestruck, dumbstruck silence.

"Then you and James happened," Sam made an unreadable expression. "At first I thought... I didn't really believe... But I saw the way you looked at each other, the curiosity, the interest, the shyness, the attraction, the awkwardness... All of it really pointed to the start of something new between you and him. You almost looked at him the same way you looked at Kara."

Sam's words became more and more vague, but Lena understood her perfectly. What she did not understand, however, was why Sam was talking about this. Was Sam about to confess that she was lonely? That she didn't like being the only single woman in her circle of friends? Or was she about to try and insist that Lena _had_ to get back together with Kara, or at least find closure, for the sake of their relationship? But Lena did not ask any of these questions, choosing instead to wait and allow Sam to keep on talking.

"You and James became a couple, and then you and Kara never happened, even though I had thought..." Sam trailed off again with a tired sigh, and she turned her head slightly away from Lena so that the Luthor wouldn't be able to see the way her tears glistened in her eyes. Lena noticed Sam starting to pull away from her and she half considered trying to hug the Arias as a sign of comfort and support, but she somehow already knew that a hug from her was the exact opposite of what Sam needed at the moment. Because of that, although it did hurt Lena a little bit, she controlled herself and let Sam be, refusing to touch her. She did, however, gently probe the Arias about why she was so interested in Lena and Kara's story.

"If I may ask, and I'm trying not to sound rude, I promise, where are you going with this?" Lena asked. "I genuinely only want to know."

"Don't we all?" Sam asked cryptically, but before Lena could ask what that meant, Sam sighed again and shook her head. "I guess what I meant to ask was what your feeling for Kara were."

"My... feelings...?" Lena blinked. Hadn't Sam already postulated and gone over them?

"I mean, I want to hear it from you," Sam clarified, looking Lena in the eyes pleadingly. "I'm not asking for gossip or dirt or juicy stories. I just want to know what you felt for her, if anything at all. Even if I believe that Kara already had a boyfriend and even if I believe that you and James love one another deeply, I don't believe that you felt nothing for Kara. But I want to hear _you_ say it, not me."

"Why do you care so much?" Lena asked back, not defensively.

"I don't know," Sam admitted. "But I am starting to have another idea, and I need to know if there was ever anything there before I say it..." then she paused, a clear indicator that she wasn't going to speak anymore and that it was Lena's time to share her story, if she so chose.

At first, Lena found herself preferring to maintain silence, not because she distrusted Sam, but because even she didn't know what her feelings for Kara were, especially now. But after a few seconds passed, Lena changed her mind. This would be a difficult topic, not just because it was painful, but because it was confusing, but she figured that now was the best time to try and sort things out. Sam was here for support and wisdom, there would be no better time for Lena to sort through this than right now. So she took a deep breath and began.

"You were right that Kara and I were never an official couple," she admitted. "But it is true that I did want it... at one point..." the Luthor stared self-consciously down at her lap before continuing.

"All of my life, I had wanted nothing more than to fit in, and be normal, and be accepted and have a good, happy, mundane life. But that wasn't exactly easy as Luthor. Even before we earned a bad rap, we were still a very different and very unique family. It always set me apart from everyone else. But I didn't want it to always be like that. It was lonely, being the only one. It was lonely, being so different from everybody else and feeling like I was on the outside looking in. That was why, when I first met Kara, I feel head-over-heels in love with her. But can you blame me?" Lena paused to look up into Sam's eyes with a sad, helpless, hopeless smile.

"She was the first and only person not to treat me any differently for any reason. And this was _after_ Lex had ruined the Luthor name. This girl had found it within herself to look me in the eyes and treat me just the same as she treated anybody else. She trusted me, and she treated me so well, and she was always so kind and gentle and caring and compassionate. Even when the odds were stacked up against me, Kara genuinely believed in me and her faith in me and my good character never wavered. Never..."

Lena got a distant look in her eyes as she reminisced to Sam. Suddenly, she was three years back in time when she and Kara had first met. Suddenly, there was _only_ Kara Danvers, not Supergirl. A dreamy smile spread across Lena's face, which Sam watched with a tiny bit of envy.

"She was so kind to me, so open and honest and trusting. She was the only one to ever look at me like I was something other than a Luthor, like I was more than just my last name. She was the only one to see "Lena" instead of "Luthor", and I loved her for that... But I was always too afraid to ask her, or tell her. How could I, a Luthor, ask someone like _her_ if she would've been ok with someone like _me_? And I didn't think I'd be able to handle the rejection, the shame, the hurt or the embarrassment. I feared that someone as good and kind as her would never truly accept or love someone as twisted and broken as me, so I never asked her. I was too afraid..."

As Lena trailed off for a moment, Sam bit her lip and bowed her head a little. She wondered if Lena realized how much she sounded like Kara in this moment. Here was another example of how one of the two of them kept secrets from the other out of fear, self-loathing and self-doubt.

"But I did try, and I did hope," Lena continued with a slight nod. "After we got to know each other better, we did start to go out. I even referred to them as "dates", but I don't think that resonated with Kara," a crooked grin spread across Lena's face, but it didn't last long. "She never seemed to reciprocate, or even realize how in love I was with her. Then something came up, and suddenly, she had a boyfriend, Mon-El," Lena spoke the name bitterly, enviously, and Sam saw her eyes flash for just a second.

"The one that moved away?" Sam guessed.

"Bingo," Lena nodded ruefully.

"I'm assuming, then, that 'moved way' was just a euphemism?" Sam guessed again and Lena nodded once more.

"He was a Daxamite, and his family tried to conquer the Earth. We were able to stop the invasion by filling the air with a form of lead that was nontoxic to humans, but highly toxic to Daxamites. This forced Mon-El to leave, and we all know how that ended," Lena gave a bitter huff.

"And that was what Morgan Edge tried to frame you for!" Sam whispered, eyes widening in realization.

"Yup," Lena's face twisted in angry humor at the memory. As far as she knew, he was still rotting away in some jail, forgotten by the world. She had no idea what had happened to his company, having severed all ties with him and it after he was taken away. Good riddance!

"Well, wouldn't you consider that a bonus, then?" Sam tried to insert some levity into the conversation. "You managed to save the Earth and get rid of your one rival all in one fell swoop!" but the joke did the exact opposite of what it was supposed to.

"What? No!" Lena sat up, eyes flashing. "I would never do something like that! You know that!" she narrowed her eyes and glared hard at Sam as she continued to draw herself up, indignant and offended that Sam would ever suggest that Lena had only pumped the air full of lead to scare Mon-El away from Kara. Sam instantly shrunk down, quailing under Lena's sudden wrath.

"I was only joking, Lena!" she pleaded quickly. "I know you would never do something like that!" there was sincerity in her voice and it managed to appease Lena. She lowered herself back into bed with a defeated and weary expression.

"Sorry," she muttered. "I know you were only joking. I shouldn't have taken it so personally."

"I shouldn't have joked about such a sore topic," Sam replied, apologizing again, but Lena waved it off calmly.

There was silence for a little bit longer before Sam asked her next question.

"After Mon-El left, _did_ you ever try to get with Kara?" she asked, and there was nothing but curiosity in her voice, no judgement or nosiness at all.

"Yes and no," Lena replied, much more willing to talk now that she knew that Sam only had genuine intentions. "Of course, to some degree, I did try to get with her. We were both single at the time and I was still very fond of her. But she was still recovering from a breakup, how could I have forced myself onto her at a time like that?"

"Fair enough," Sam nodded.

"But she took so long to recover that I worried that maybe she just didn't reciprocate," Lena admitted sadly. "I grew impatient and I gave up. I got tired of waiting, so I chose James instead."

"Do you ever regret that decision?" Sam asked softly.

"I honestly don't know," Lena replied sadly. "I do genuinely care for James, but I worry sometimes that I made a mistake in choosing him. What if I had only done it to try and silence my desires for Kara? What if I hadn't done it because I really wanted James? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love James dearly and I think he's a great guy, I just don't know if he's the right guy for me, and I think I might've rushed a relationship with him. I'm worried that I might not be loving him properly, and I think I might know why. But to me, that's the scariest part of all. What if I was too quick? What if I made a mistake? What if I accidently tried to settle for second best? What if I've only ever been lying to myself? Our relationship was good, but it was never great, and there was _always_ something missing, something a little off, even from the very first day. And I think about this a lot, which is a very telling thing."

"Do you think you'll ever leave him for Kara, then?" Sam asked gently.

"I can't just do that!" Lena, again, sounded disgusted by the suggestion, but then her face fell once more. "Besides," she said. "Even if I do leave James, it certainly will not be for Kara!" and that bitter, wounded edge returned to her voice again.

"Remember, Sam, that these were all the thoughts and feelings I was having _before_ I learned Kara's secret. Now you add that into the mix and not only are we still stuck at square one, but we've just added in _another_ factor for me to consider, only this one is such a game-changer that it might've overturned the entire table! It's not about who I love anymore, it's about if I love them at all, because they were _all_ in on it. Even James. I'm not just mad at Kara, I'm mad at all of our, _her_ , friends, because they lied to me just as unrepentantly as she had. I think that even if I were to break up with James right this second, it would not be because I wanted to run back into Kara's arms, because I don't even think I want that anymore."

Lena gave a disgusted sigh while Sam gave her a sympathetic one. She could only imagine how truly confused and hurt Lena must've felt right now. To realize that Lena had harbored romantic feelings for Kara must've added a new depth to the sting she felt when she realized that Kara had kept a huge and personal secret from her. Even if it had nothing to do with trust (or lack thereof), Sam was certain that Lena had seen herself as one of the most important people in Kara's life. For her to learn, then, that Kara had actively hidden a giant secret from her made Lena realize that she may not have been as highly or fondly regarded in Kara's eyes as she used to think, or hope. No doubt, it was a blow to her ego, and her more romantic inclinations. How would Lena ever be able to love Kara now? Especially after realizing just how little Kara might've reciprocated.

But even at a time like this, Sam still couldn't fully believe that Kara had no feelings for Lena. She was still certain, even with this ominous scenario looming over their heads, that Kara had indeed reciprocated Lena's feelings, Lena just might not have even realized it. Sam smirked to herself, then. Perhaps Kara and Lena were better matched than it seemed, both of them sounding quite oblivious to the other's feelings. Kara wasn't the only blind one in this equation, so was Lena, but like Kara, she didn't even realize it. It was like a really bad rom-com, and Sam felt like the exasperated audience, helpless to help and powerless to look away.

But either way, Sam knew that it would be useless trying to explain all of this to Lena. Lena wouldn't believe her. She wouldn't _want_ to believe her. Her own feelings for Kara had been so shaken that Sam was certain that Lena would never be able to see the Kryptonian in the same way ever again, for worse or for better. Even if Sam could offer up proof as solid as surveillance that Kara loved Lena, Lena would not want to see it. It would only make things more confusing for her. But Sam still couldn't help but wonder. Was it really too late for this ship to sail? Had it already sunk? Or was there still hope that it could survive the stormy seas of this most recent fallout?

"I can't speak for Kara," Sam began slowly. "And I can't speak for you either, but I do wonder if it would ever be possible for you to try and pursue a romantic relationship with her after all."

"With the girl who lied to my face for three years?!" Lena drew herself up again, eyes flashing once more.

"Not right now," Sam replied. "And not with the girl who lied to your face for three years, but to the one who loved you more than anything else in the world, and who did so much to save, help and protect you."

"I didn't need protecting! What harm would knowing her secret have been? I'm no stranger to danger and I was already so invested in her alien world anyway that I don't understand what more harm there could've been with me knowing. Wasn't I already in danger just by being a Luthor? Just by working so closely with her? Wouldn't it have been safer if she _had_ told me?" Lena demanded, voice rising steadily with anger.

"I didn't mean that she kept her secret from you in order to protect you," Sam raised a hand and gestured for Lena to sit back down again. "I meant that in all the times that I knew her, Kara had been nothing but genuinely fond and loving of you. I can't believe that all of that was fake."

"Well, you don't know her like I do," Lena muttered coldly, crossing her arms and frowning.

"Maybe not," Sam agreed. "But I still am pretty sure that I know what love is when I see it."

"Do you really now?" Lena challenged, narrowing her eyes.

"Yes," Sam promised. "I saw the way she protected you from Edge, I saw how hard she worked to clear your name, I saw how unshakable her faith was in you. Can't you remember that?"

"Yes, but I also remember that even if Kara's love was genuine, she still lied to me, which means she clearly must've not loved me that much!" Lena shot back, but Sam only shook her head with a tiny smile.

"Don't you remember what we talked about before?" she asked the Luthor. "You remember my story about my high school friend?"

"Don't go justifying Kara's behavior by comparing it to a coming out story!" Lena pleaded in frustration.

"You remember how I told you that sometimes we keep secrets from the ones we love the most because they are the ones we most wish to impress?" Sam talked over Lena, still shaking her head. Lena huffed and her scowl deepened, but she obliged to listen to Sam. A small part of her knew that this was the only way she'd be able to listen to Kara's side of the argument without losing her patience. If these words didn't come from Sam, they would fall upon deaf ears. Sam was the only one Lena was willing to listen to at the moment. So if Lena wanted to hear Kara's side of the issue, she knew it would have to come from Sam's mouth. Seeing Kara would cause too many emotions to fire up within Lena and even if Kara said the exact same things that Sam did, Lena wouldn't it nearly as well.

"Let's assume that maybe Kara isn't very happy with being an alien, an outsider, a non-human, an Other," Sam continued calmly. "Maybe she loved you so much that she couldn't bear the thought of ever losing you, so she made the same mistake I did and chose to lie and hide instead of just take the risk and tell the truth from the start. That amount of love would definitely match what I saw when I hung out with her. She always spoke so fondly and tenderly of you, Lena. I know you don't want to hear it, but I don't think your crush was as one-sided as you believe."

"But she still messed up!" Lena argued.

"Who hasn't?" Sam asked back with a dry smile. "I'm not saying Kara was justified in what she did, I just mean that love and fear are very strong, powerful, confusing forces, that work in the strangest of ways, especially when combined. Both of them make people do very crazy, stupid, and irrational things. I am sure that Kara is no exception. And hey, maybe she saw you as her humanity just as you saw her as yours."

"What?" that last line from Sam gave Lena pause.

"Lena, come on," Sam urged gently. "From what you've told me, you were head-over-heels for Kara just because she treated you well. It's kind of sad to think that you fall so quickly in love just because someone actually treats you with basic human decency and respect, but I understand it. When one is raised without love, even the smallest act of kindness becomes the biggest of things in the long run. I'm not surprised at how well you reacted to Kara's faith in you, though it saddens me to think how starved of this you have been in order to fall so hard so fast."

"I'm sorry, but what does this have to do with anything?" Lena asked testily, clearly feeling as though Sam was overstepping some boundaries by being so frank with her, but for once, Sam dared to keep on pushing. They wouldn't make any progress unless they really dug in deep.

"What I'm saying is, it's clear that you have come to see Kara as your humanity, as the one thing linking you to the rest of the world, to a normal life. You've come to see Kara as your mortality pet, so to speak, but I think Kara might feel the same way about you. Maybe she lied to you because she saw you as an embodiment of her own humanity and normality, and she wanted it to stay that way. Maybe you were her humanity, just the same way she was yours. Maybe you were her dream for a normal life, for fitting in, for not being the only one, and maybe that is why she lied to you. Maybe you were a symbol of everything she ever wanted. Maybe she didn't want to spoil that image by telling you the truth. Maybe you were the one normal thing in her crazy world. Maybe she didn't keep you in the dark for anyone's own good except for her own. I know it was selfish of her to live like that, but it's my best guess," Sam shrugged and once again, she gave Lena pause.

Although this explanation put Kara in a favorable light, which Lena was still not ready to do just yet, she couldn't deny that Sam had a point. It sort of did make sense and, as perhaps inappropriate and ill-timed as it sounded, it did still make Lena feel somewhat happy and proud to think that Kara might've loved her so much that she considered her worth lying to. It was a very backwards and iffy way of looking at love and how to show it, but Sam might've been onto something after all.

"So you're saying I should take Kara's three years of silence as an act of love and that I should be flattered?" Lena joked darkly.

"Maybe," Sam shrugged. "Of course, a relationship built on lies will never last, but maybe Kara's love wasn't false, just misguided. After all, I've been there too," she added. Lena tilted her head in a silent question and Sam nodded as she began to explain.

"When Reign first started emerging from me, when I first started showing signs of possession, I did my best to keep that secret from Ruby, as you well know," Sam began and Lena nodded. She did know. Upon the night that Lena finally figured out what was wrong with Sam, she admitted to having told Ruby that there was something wrong with Sam. Sam's anger and fear had combined and Reign slowly started to slip loose as she chastised Lena for daring to tell her daughter something that she had no right to tell.

" _Just because you're my boss does not mean you get to make decisions for my family!"_ Sam had said. Lena remembered that all too well.

"Although I had been mad at first, desperate to keep another secret all in the name of protecting Ruby, once she found out, she was hurt and scared and angry that I hadn't told her sooner, just like my mom," Sam trailed off with a frown. "I remember it well. We had managed to suppress Reign long enough for it to be safe for me to go home again. But then I started to have those relapses. Ruby caught me during one of them and asked me what was wrong. My first instinct was to lie, to coverup and downsize, but like you said, Ruby's a smart kid. She knew immediately that something was wrong and that I was trying to lie to her again. She called me out on it and begged me to be honest with her, insisting that she wanted to know, and that she could handle the truth. It was during that conversation that I realized that she was right. I thought I was doing what was best for us by keeping her in the dark, but I was doing just the opposite. I was only making it worse, on both of us, and I think you knew that all along, didn't you?" Sam paused, thinking back once again to the night when Lena got to meet Reign for the very first time. It had only been one quick little blip, one flash of bright red eyes, but it had been enough.

"Yes, I remember," Lena murmured solemnly.

"Well, maybe it's the same thing," Sam suggested. "I've since learned my lesson, not to keep secrets from the people I love, even though it is a very hard thing to grapple with, maybe Kara just hasn't come to the same epiphany yet."

"Well, she could hurry it along. I've worked with Supergirl long enough that I might as well be in the loop now too!" Lena deadpanned, some of the enlightenment from Sam's story switching back into bitterness on Lena's part.

"Remember, Lena," Sam warned. "Kara was raised to lie and to hide. I have no doubt that she spent her entire life being told never to speak of her alien side. Raising a child like that, raising them to believe that it would be better to hide than live openly, is sure to make trust an unnatural thing. I'm sure that even if she wanted to be honest with you, she still wouldn't be able to just because it's been so engrained in her mind to hide."

As Sam said this, Lena was suddenly reminded of a small conversation she'd had with Kara herself about this very same topic. They had been flying together on one of Lena's private jets, headed over to Kaznia to catch Lex. During the flight over, Lena had apologized to Kara for keeping secrets and for having failed to tell Kara about Lex sooner (an apology which stung Lena to think about now). But after that apology, Lena had said something else.

"Trust is still a learned skill for me, it doesn't come naturally." What if the same thing could be said for Kara? Maybe Lena wasn't the only one who'd grown up in a deceptive household where lying and secrecy were the laws. Openness hadn't exactly been an applauded trait in the Luthor House, all of them preferring to keep their cards close to their chest instead. As Sam pointed out, Kara could probably relate to this mentality, and Lena began to wonder if Kara wasn't more like her than she previously imagined.

Lena had always pictured Kara as some sort of symbol of peak humanity: honest, kind, trusting, loyal, and moral, with flawless integrity. But what if that had all only ever been a fantasy, a delusion cooked up by Lena's own lonely mind, desperate to have one good figure in her life worth admiring? Or what if Lena's own esteem had been so low that she had seen Kara as immaculate, capable of doing only good deeds, and no evil? If that were the case, it was small wonder, then, how Lena might've overlooked the fact that Kara might've been just as damaged, lonely and afraid as she was. Maybe Kara was no stranger to lying, maybe Lena had only ever been a fool for assuming (and maybe even hoping) as such. Maybe Kara and Lena really had been each other's humanity, but not just in a good way. Kara was more human than she realized if she really was so quick to lie and hide. Lena could relate all too well. Maybe Kara had been a sinner all along, but Lena had tried to paint her as a saint, a false idol. Maybe the two were far more alike than either of them realized, or wished to acknowledge.

What a chilling thing it was for Lena to realize. That maybe she and Kara were more alike than it seemed. And that maybe this was why Lena had loved her so much, because she saw so much of herself within Kara. Or maybe it was just the opposite. Lena had projected her desired traits onto Kara and deluded herself into seeing Kara as an angel, when she was really no better than Lena herself. Maybe Lena had only ever been in love with a lie from the get-go. An idealized version of Kara. An unhealthy and unreal image that Lena had cooked up. Maybe it was time to remove the rose-colored glasses and start seeing Kara for what she really was. And maybe Lena needed to look in the mirror too while she was at it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Change of plans, this is the SuperCorp chapter. Next one will dip more into ReignCorp. With any luck, I only have two or three chapters left: a "next morning" chapter and a "return to L-Corp" chapter. But we'll see if I actually stick to that outline... Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this!


	5. Confession

Lena hadn't realized that she'd been crying until she was suddenly aware of the warm, wet trails running down her face. She made no attempt to wipe away the tears, however, choosing instead to just sit there and stare off into space, halfway in a different time and place. It was as if her tears were acting as lenses, showing her not where she was in the present, but where she used to be in the past: at Kara's side. There was just so much going on in her head at the moment: longing, bitterness, anger, hurt, sorrow. Everything. She wanted so much to be with Kara again, but at the same time, she wanted nothing more than to cut the Kryptonian out of her life forever and never look back. These two conflicting viewpoints were tearing her in half, but she couldn't tell which side was pulling harder, nor which side hurt worse.

"Why did you ask me this?" Lena finally asked Sam, turning lost, forlorn, red eyes at the other woman.

"To help you keep on sorting through your thoughts, problems and feelings?" Sam asked back with a half shrug, but Lena, emotionally distressed as she was, could still tell that this was only half the truth. It was an answer, but not nearly full enough to explain away such a complex question. Lena even managed to give Sam an incredulous look.

"I thought we agreed that secrets, lies and hiding away were not good?" she challenged and Sam winced.

"You are right," she admitted, nodding once in Lena's direction. "There is something more to it, but it is far more personal to me than it is to you and I really don't want to burden you with another problem."

"You're starting to sound like me," Lena smirked darkly. "So now allow me to pretend to be you and remind you that, as your friend, I am just as willing to listen to you rant as you have been to listen to me rant. Besides, what could you possibly sat that could hurt me anymore than already? Unless your problem pertains to Reign, I doubt it could be anywhere near as bad as this," Lena gestured to herself, still smirking bitterly, and Sam finally got the point and conceded to tell.

"You aren't going to like it, but it involves more romance problems," Sam said ruefully.

"Bring it on," Lena replied with a resigned smile, face pained but willing.

"This time, it's between you and me," Sam admitted shyly, suddenly very interested in her bedsheets.

"Wait, what?" despite herself, Lena's face went totally blank and her tone went totally flat.

"You heard me," now it was Sam's turn to smile bitterly. Lena still couldn't bring herself to respond, so Sam gave her a pitying look.

"It's ok if you don't want to hear it. Like I said, it's kind of personal, and we don't need to go into it right now," she insisted, but that snapped Lena back into the present and she shook her head vehemently.

"No, no," she cried. "It's alright, I'm fine, it just took me a second. But I really do want to hear it, please!" she insisted, even leaning closer to Sam to show her earnestness. She hadn't been bluffing. She really wanted to be able to be there for Sam, just as Sam had been there for her.

"If you insist," Sam muttered and Lena gave her a convicted nod. Sam returned the nod before inhaling slowly. Now it was her turn to confess.

"I honestly don't know where to start, so I'm just going to start from the very beginning, which means that this story is going to be long, and maybe even slightly confusing, so just bear with me here, ok?" Sam asked apologetically.

"Of course," Lena replied, waving a hand for Sam to continue, so she did.

"In terms of romance, I think my story is pretty typically," she said. "I dated a few guys here and there and on and off, and then there was one guy I met whom I thought was The One but, as we all know, turned out to not be. In a perfect storm of love, lust, loneliness and teenage hormones and rebellion, I decided to jump in headfirst and be bold. Of course, he jumped ship pretty quickly thereafter. I didn't, though. I was never one to quit or back down, even when things got hard, or didn't go the way I planned.

But after he left my life while Ruby entered, my love life went on hold for the longest time. I had no time or desire to explore or find a new companion. Sure, some nights were really hard, long and lonely, but never enough to drive me towards finding anyone. Whether it was from fear, shyness, the daily exhaustion of being a single mother, a lack of desire, or some combination thereof, I don't know. All I know is that, for the next decade, I pretty much had no love life. I just wasn't interested. Every once in a while, I might've done a double take, but I was too busy with everything else to really think about exploring my own life. That all kind of came back to bite me in the rear end when you came along," Sam paused to gave Lena an unreadable smile and Lena suddenly felt very exposed underneath Sam's knowing gaze.

"At first, it was strictly business, and I fully intended upon keeping it that way. But then, the longer and longer we worked together, the closer and closer I felt to you. Of course, we'd always had that instant connection. You actively sought me out after all. But it went even beyond that, and in all the times we worked together, I think I began falling in love with you. You were just such a wonderful, attractive and easy person. I can't really explain it, but you were everything I liked and everything I wanted. Nothing brought me greater joy than just hanging out with you, whether it be in or out of work. We spent so much time together and I wound up enjoying every single second of it, so is it any surprise I began to feel drawn to you in more ways than one?" Sam asked, tilting her head a little, but Lena really had no answer for this.

To be quite honest, as affectionate and physical as Lena had been with Sam, she never once had considered romance to be a part of the equation. Even though her bond with Sam was very fast and natural and tight, in Lena's eyes, it was never more than a really close friendship. (Just like Sam had speculated before, Kara was not the only Useless Lesbian in National City. There was another one who was just as oblivious, if not even more, because she was blind on two counts: one for Kara and one for Sam).

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lena asked, then she realized how stupid that question was, but before she could restate it, Sam answered.

"I wanted to," she admitted. "But just like with you and Kara, I was nervous. I was worried you'd be... disgusted. For lack of a better word."

"L-Corp has a very strict no-discrimination policy and bigotry will not-" Lena cried, sitting up at once. Just for a second, a flash of old spirit surged through her as she got ready to remind Sam of L-Corp's tolerance and equal-opportunist policies.

"I didn't mean about _that_ ," Sam couldn't help a snicker, amused at how quickly and vehemently Lena had snapped into her "lawyer" mode.

"I meant that you wouldn't like the idea of dating your coworkers/employees. Not that that held up with James of course," she added with another laugh. "And besides, Lena, I'm probably the last person you need to remind about the anti-discrimination policies. I do work for you, after all. Or have you forgotten that quickly?" Sam gave Lena a teasing smile, a moment of genuine levity entering their conversation.

"Ah, true, fair enough," Lena grunted embarrassedly. Of course she didn't need to tell Sam about the policies, Sam knew them better than anyone else! (Expect maybe for Lena herself). The Luthor quickly settled back down after that and a serious atmosphere returned to the room.

"That aside, though, I also wasn't even sure myself," Sam admitted. "About my feelings, that is. I knew I was fond of you and I knew that we had grown very close very fast, and I had entertained thoughts of what we might look like as a couple, but I had grown so used to living alone and to ignoring those feelings that once I finally had the chance to explore them, I froze. I didn't know what to do, or say, if I said or did anything at all! Does that make sense?" she asked, pausing to check. Lena nodded. Good.

"And then, like I said before, I met Kara," Sam gave Lena a rueful smile. "And I saw how close you were to her, and I thought for sure that I had already missed my chance with you. I was jealous, at first, I'll admit it, but I saw how happy Kara made you. How could I ever try and sabotage that for my own selfish gain? Besides, I'll also admit that there was some small amount of relief that came in knowing that you were already "taken". If you were already dating Kara, I didn't have to feel bad if I never told you about my own feelings. I wouldn't have to worry about a lost opportunity because it would've never been there in the first place! You see?" she paused again with a hopeful and sheepish smile.

Lena could see her face turning red. This was clearly a very difficult topic for Sam to speak about, so she was trying to get it all out before her nerves failed her, but at the same time, she couldn't go too fast or she'd leave Lena in the dust. But Lena was having no trouble keeping pace. If anything, Sam's story only made her feel guilty, and once again, she marveled at the similarities between herself, Sam and Kara. Why were all of them so bad at just speaking their minds and talking about the way they felt? They were all strong, independent women, right? Right?

"But anyway, then I found out that you and Kara were _not_ dating after all and the pressure was on me again to confront my feelings for you," Sam continued quickly. Lena could see her hands shake.

"I went back and forth all the time about whether or not I should speak now or forever hold my peace," she joked weakly. "Some nights, I wanted nothing more than to tell you, certain that you'd say yes to me, and that we could be each other's significant others. If Kara was out of the way, nothing was stopping me from trying to ask you. And it would've been good for me too to actually talk about my feelings instead of bottling them up, storing them away or trying to ignore them and put them on hold. But easier said than done, of course... Because other nights I would be mortified at the idea of telling you anything. It just felt too... unprofessional.

And I had other things to worry about anyway. Once again, I kept making excuses for myself so that I could justify my silence. But every time I tried to tell myself as such, that first part of me would come back with a vengeance and insist that it was time I started looking after myself as well, and come out to you. That side of me argued that it would be a win-win situation to admit my feelings to you. I'd either wind up with a significant other, or I would at least be able to put my mind at ease that I had said something instead of suffering in silence. I would've proven to myself, if not to you, that I could be strong and brave and open and honest, and that I was finally exploring myself instead of just putting myself on standby all the time," she explained, twiddling her thumbs. Lena continued to listen in awestruck, dumbstruck silence as Sam's story unfolded before her in a rapidly-spoken and vivid retelling. How had she not noticed this sooner?!

"But then, of course, as we all know, James happened. And then Reign. And she caused what was pretty much the midlife crisis to end all midlife crises. And then we _really_ didn't have the time to be focused on romance," Sam joked weakly. "I had considered telling you then, just because we spent so much time alone together, but I figured you would've been exasperated if I had told you, while we were trying to find and destroy Reign, that I was in love with you," Sam paused to laugh. "I could just see it now. I would've said, "Lena, I know we're in a tough spot in our lives right now, but I just want to let you know that I really do appreciate everything you've done for me and Ruby and I really do love you!" and then you would've said to me, "Sam. We are dealing with rogue _Worldkillers_ who are trying to bring around an apocalypse. Please try to stay focused and sort out your priorities!"" she mimicked Lena's voice as she said this.

"You know, that's actually a pretty good guess as to what I might've said if that conversation had ever happened," Lena couldn't stop a laugh.

"Yeah, heh, or you would've said I was just hyped up on Kryptonite and Harun-El and whatever other drug you were pumping into my system at the time," Sam laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck embarrassedly.

At the mention of Harun-El, Lena felt her reserves going back up, but she managed to maintain a neutral and casual expression.

"Then of course, even after we managed to defeat Reign, it was still over for me anyway," Sam continued. "You and James were an official couple and you needed me to run the Metropolis L-Corp and it's been that way ever since," the Arias finally finished with a small, sad sigh. "There was just never a good time to tell you the truth. There was just never a break for any of us that would've allowed me to tell you without feeling weird or out of place. It seemed like every time I got the chance, something would come up and interrupt us. We were either too busy trying to save the world, or I just didn't want to ruin the little bits of downtime that we had in between each catastrophe. There was never a good time to talk to you! God, was it maddening!" Sam ran her fingers through her hair, growing frustrated just by the sheer memory of it all.

"And so, you're telling me all this now because you didn't have the chance to say it sooner?" Lena quirked an eyebrow.

"Admittedly, yes," Sam's frustrated expression melted back into a sheepish one. "I know I'm a year late, but it's better late than never, eh?" she asked. "Besides, we've spent so much time talking about secrets and identities and coming out and romance and betrayal and all that other crap that I figured that I had better tell you now as opposed to waiting again," the Arias paused with a look of relief on her face before she seemed to realize the implications of her statement. Then she was quick to answer Lena's unasked question.

"Oh! Hey! I didn't mean it like that!" she insisted. "In no way am I romancing you right now! I wouldn't do that to you! I was just telling you for myself. I didn't tell you all of this now in a last-ditch effort to win your heart, or whatever. I just told you to get it off my chest and to finally do what I've been going back and forth on for over a year now! This was all really more for me than it was for you... or us... It was just for me, and a way to clear my own head," she said, then a dry smile flickered across her face.

"Call me selfish," she said. "But you weren't the only one with an agenda for this visit. I had some stuff to work out too... And yes, I know that probably shouldn't have told you tonight when you had so much else to grapple with, but you did offer to listen. Besides, it feels like every time we meet, I tell myself that I will talk to you, but then I always chicken out and make up some excuse about why it's still not the right time to confess. At the rate I'm going, we'll both be friends in the afterlife and I still won't have said a word!" she paused to laugh at herself, shaking her head.

"It feels like no time is ever the best time to confess, so I decided to just get it over with now instead of waiting around again. And like I said, I didn't mean to spring this on you now, I was just doing this for myself, so that now I can finally say, confidently, I did tell you, even if I came over a year too late, and during perhaps one of the most awkward times ever. Even Reign's apocalypse would've been a better time to tell you!" she tried to joke, but Lena actually gave her a very serious nod.

"You're right," she said. "There really is no time like the present and, sometimes, you've just gotta say it, or else you'll be awaiting around forever for that nonexistent perfect moment. I do admit that you could've been a bit more tactful with when you told me, but I am glad that you at least told me eventually. Better late than never," she continued, and there was a genuine smile on her face as she said this.

Although it was still a bit of a shock for her to hear that Sam had been in love with her and even though it was still a bit of a shock for her to hear the confession now, one year later, and during this night of all nights, Lena really was genuinely glad that Sam had finally told her. Even if it was beyond irrelevant now, Lena was just so glad to have at least one friend that was willing to spill her secrets without being goaded or tricked or caught that she didn't care what the secret was, just that it had been told. There was another contrast between Sam and Kara, Lena noted darkly. At least Sam finally fessed up. But would Kara ever? It didn't seem so...

But at the same time, Sam's talk was starting to soften Lena's heart and change her mind. She was still wary of Kara and the others, but hearing Sam confess her own secrets made Lena feel a bit more hopeful that maybe, just maybe, Kara might one day do the same. It didn't seem very likely, but then again, Sam had decided to divulge a very private and very outdated piece of herself with Lena, and in the most unexpected of ways and times, so maybe Kara could be the same. Lena would still be mad that it took her three years while it only took Sam one, but Sam's love confession had made Lena willing to change her mind. At least for now.

But going back to the matter at hand, it soon became Lena's turn to apologize.

"I really don't mind that you told me all of this," she began. "And it really is nothing at all compared to the Supergirl drama," she continued. "But I do have to apologize that I never realized... and that I sill don't reciprocate... as far as I know," she knew that last line was pathetic and she hoped that it wouldn't give Sam any false hope, but it sounded too callous to just outright say that she had no romantic interest in Sam at all. She didn't want to sound mean, but she really didn't feel anything for Sam. As far as she knew. But it might change. It was a seed planted in her mind now and it could grow into something eventually, especially if Kara was no longer an option.

That wasn't to say Lena would replace Kara with Sam, but it was to say that Lena might start seeing Sam in a new way now that Sam had given her this confession. Life was strange and things could turn on a dime. Maybe one day, Lena _would_ choose Sam. But it wouldn't be any time soon. She still had a lot of other things she needed to deal with first. And she wanted to make sure that if she did choose Sam, it would be for love, and not for a petty attempt at filling the hole in her chest or finding a new companion. She'd already acted impulsively once with James, she didn't want to make the same mistake with Sam.

If she chose Sam, it would be because she really wanted to be with Sam, not just because she was grasping at straws and trying to cling to any bit of love tossed in her direction. As Sam had noted, this had been one of the reasons she suffered this downfall in the first place. She'd been so desperate for love that she had acted impulsively and took the first thing that came her way without taking the time to think it all through. She didn't want to make that same mistake with Sam. So she would wait, and see what happened.

Sam, however, took Lena's rejection quite well, looking too happy with having come out to care what Lena said in response to it. She hadn't been lying when she said that as much as she loved Lena, she wasn't looking for a romance right now either. She was just looking to tell the truth and clear her mind, just like Lena. Romance could wait for both of them, no matter who they ended up with. Sam did still want Lena, but not right now. She had accomplished her goals for tonight, and that was enough. Besides, Lena still had her own mess to clean up.

Only after that was all settled would Sam be willing to think about a romance with Lena, for real. She, like Lena, wanted to be cautious and slow since she, also like Lena, had been burned when she acted impulsively and sought out romance not for companionship but for personal validation. There was nothing wrong with seeking validation from a partner, but it did a become a problem when that was _all_ someone wanted out of a relationship. Neither Sam nor Lena wanted to make that painful mistake ever again.

Romance was hard, and feelings were harder, as both of them knew too well. Sam acknowledge how fluctuating and wild her emotions were and she was more than willing to put them on hold again, but this time to process them and not just ignore them. She knew how confusing sexuality and love were, and how easy it was to confuse them with something else. She was wiser now, and willing to take the time to really explore herself before jumping out into the dating world. She wanted to do some of her own soul-searching until she felt ready to come to Lena, while Lena did likewise back home. They both had a lot left to explore within themselves and romantic inclination was only one facet of it. Sam knew this and she was ready to wait and watch. She could tell that Lena was starting to feel the same.

"I hope you aren't too mad that I never noticed before?" Lena asked next.

"Of course not," Sam promised. "I didn't expect you to. I just wanted to say it. And I am glad you took it so well."

"I'm sorry you ever felt too afraid to tell me," Lena replied with a sad smile, but Sam shrugged.

"I said my piece, now I can feel at peace," she grinned.

"Hope I can say the same," Lena replied, eyes growing distant again. Sam's face softened in reply.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," she murmured. "You've had time to think this through and get all your emotions out. You'll be ok."

"But what if I forget all of this when I finally do talk to Kara?" Lena pleaded. "What if my mind goes blank and I just start ripping into her? I can guarantee that emotions will be high, even in the calmest of scenarios. Our chat won't be anywhere near as smooth as this one."

"Then you wait and try again later," Sam replied. "It won't be fun, but that's the way it will go. Even if you do lose your head the first time you two talk, the worst will be over and you can move on from there. Just keep talking until all the screaming is done, then you can start getting somewhere. I just don't want you to give up on her."

"Why?" Lena's eyes narrowed. "Didn't you say it was my choice whether or not I continue to consider her a friend?"

"Of course!" Sam promised. "I just mean that I personally swing towards the idea of you two staying together."

"I thought you had a crush of me," Lena's frown deepened.

"I do," Sam replied. "But I remember the way you two looked at each other and how far each of you went to care for and protect the other. I don't want all that to go away now. I won't judge either of you if it does, but I am imploring you to try and keep it alive. Maybe she doesn't deserve it, or you, but you two really were something special together. A power-couple for the ages! Value what you had in her, and try to keep it going. She may be your once-in-a-lifetime, so don't let that slip away. You've been in worse scrapes than this together and survived before," she said.

Lena exhaled slowly as Sam continued to (not-so-subtly) nudge her down the path that ended in Kara. Although she appreciated the effort and emotion and although she found it very gracious of Sam to forfeit her own feelings for Lena in favor of Kara's, Lena just didn't know if she was ready to go back to Kara. Or if she even wanted to anymore. Even if they did manage to kiss and make up (metaphorically speaking for now, of course) would Lena still even want to be with Kara after all of this was over? If the answer was yes, then that was fine. Sam could be one of the people Lena thanked at the wedding. But if the answer was no, Sam's words were only pushing Lena further down a path she did not want.

But where else would Sam push her? She had to move somewhere, so Sam was helping her move along. The only other path was towards her, and Lena could understand why Sam wasn't trying too hard to convince Lena that she would be a better partner than Kara. Even if it was true, Sam was not the kind of woman to brag about herself or insist that she was more deserving of anything than anyone else was. It was one of the many things Lena loved about Sam: her humility and hospitality. It was the mother in her, the loving and sacrificial heart that would rather see Lena happy with Kara than herself happy with Lena (unless Lena _chose_ Sam, in which case, Sam would be all for that).

For a moment, then, Lena tried to imagine a life with Sam. It would be strange, because it would also include a life without Kara, but it wouldn't be entirely displeasing (for that very same reason). Every morning she would wake up to Sam's loving face. Every day she would work beside the one and only person who had never ever betrayed her trust. Every night she would come home to goof around with Sam and Ruby (who would become her daughter as well) and they would be a complete, happy little family. It would be the domestic life Lena had always so desired, yet never believed possible for herself. It was a tempting idea, but even then, she still wasn't sure how she felt about it...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Here was the ReignCorp bit. Next up is a slight digression into a study of Reign (and her relationship with Sam, Lena and Kara).


	6. Reign

"You know?" Sam said suddenly. "I sometimes wish I still had Reign with me."

"What?!" Lena demanded in alarm, Sam yanking her out of her reveries. Where on Earth had that remark come from?!

"I know it sounds crazy," Sam admitted.

"Just a little!" Lena gave a nervous laugh and Sam smiled apologetically at her.

"But in the year that she's been gone, I've had time to think, and there are nights when I still wish that she was with me so I could talk to her," Sam made another confession. "I know she was a monster, but she was not evil. She only wanted justice. There was some good in her, it was just a twisted variety. And as torturous as it was, sharing a mind with her, not everything she said was entirely untrue..." she paused and Lena realized she was about to tie Reign into this talk as well. Curious to hear about how Sam's opinion on Reign might've changed, she gestured for Sam to go on.

"As you well know, one of the things Reign loved to do to me was mentally torture me," Sam began bitterly and Lena nodded. She remembered how, during the time in which she and Sam had tried to confront Reign inside of Sam's head, one of the things Reign had done to hurt Sam was to threaten Ruby. That had sent Sam into hysterics. And as Sam also confessed to Lena, Reign had managed to uncover a very dark and uncomfortable secret within her: the regret of ever having Ruby. Although Sam loved Ruby more than anything in the entire _universe_ and would gladly die a thousand deaths to ensure the girl's safety, raising Ruby had not always been a fun or easy task. There had indeed been long, lonely nights when Sam regretted her life as a single mother, and Reign knew this and did not hesitate to use those facts as weapons against Sam.

Back then, they had only been cruel taunts meant to break her spirit and destroy her from the inside out, but now that Sam thought about it, she wondered if it wasn't Reign's own way of trying to prove how broken the world really was. Was Reign's cruelty only that? Or was it something more compassionate, in a very weird and violent way? Had Reign's reminder to Sam about Ruby been a scare tactic? Or had it been Reign's way of opening Sam's eyes and reminding her how unfair the world really was? No one should've had to suffer the fate she and Ruby did, yet stories such as theirs were painfully common, and not all of them ended half as well as Sam's, her being blessed with a company and a supportive circle of friends. But Ruby hadn't been Reign's only weapon. Lena had as well, though Sam never told Lena about this...

During one of Sam's confrontations with Reign, Reign had preyed upon Sam's emotional loneliness and teased her about Lena.

"You want her, don't you?" Reign hissed, voice echoing throughout Sam's head, and the dark valley in which they were trapped. "You love her!"

"If you do anything to hurt her I swear I-" Sam began with a snarl, but Reign cut her off with a cruel laugh.

"You're so lonely, all by yourself, aren't you? You look around and, everywhere, there are people holding hands, people kissing, people marrying. Except for you. You are all by yourself, all alone. No one to love, and no one to turn to and no one to love you," she sing-songed. "It hasn't been easy? Has it? Raising Ruby all by yourself? Haven't you ever wished even once that her father could've stayed? That she could've grown up knowing his name and his face? That she could've had two parents instead of just one? Because you have certainly proven that you, alone, are not enough!" Reign hissing voice continued to constrict Sam tighter than any snake ever could have, the venom in her voice burning Sam deep within.

"But now you have her! Now you have Lena! Think about all you could do together! And think about how much I could help you! I could get rid of that girl, that pesky Kara Danvers. And it wouldn't take more than a snap to utterly annihilate James! Then Lena would be all yours! You would finally have a companion and Ruby would finally have someone else to look up to and love! She would finally have someone who could actually protect her, Samantha!" Reign finished her taunt by suddenly lunging at Sam, knocking her back into a nearby boulder. Sam would've cried out in pain, but the breath was ripped from her lungs and she could only cower on the cold, hard ground as Reign stalked over to her, like a cat preparing to kill a cornered mouse. She was reveling in her victory. There was nowhere left for the poor, weary woman to go, except into Reign.

Although this had been a normal interaction between her and Reign, there did come a day when Reign seemed almost... sad, and lost. It was towards the end of her reign (ha, ha) when this new side of the Worldkiller emerged.

"I don't know why I'm like this," she muttered, brooding. She was hunched over on the ground, writing something in the dirt in Kryptonian. "I don't know who made me and I don't know who made me like this..."

"Reign?" Sam had not expected to feel such a rush of pity for the Worldkiller, but she did, and she dared to take one cautious step over to the unhappy creature. Reign did not turn around to acknowledge her hostess, still scribbling idly in the dirt, ignoring Sam.

"I don't know why I'm like this," she repeated. "So aggressive and cruel and hungry for more. I don't know why I'm like this. I don't know why I'm always so restless, and I don't know why I am so fixated upon justice," she tilted her masked head as she finished writing, then she stood up slowly and turned around to face Sam. There was no hostility in her eyes, just an unreadable neutrality.

"Do you know?" she finally asked. "Do you know why I am like this?"

"No, I don't," Sam admitted, daring to take another step closer to her evil alter ego. The alter ego let her without consequence.

"Then do you know why you are like this?" she instead asked.

"Like what?" Sam asked back, maintaining eye contact with Reign. She was on guard, but not afraid, for some reason.

"Like the way you are," Reign gestured to all of Sam, still unreadable in her intentions and thoughts.

"I don't," Sam replied with a resigned shrug and an unreadable twitch of the lips.

"Hmmm," Reign muttered. "But do any of us? And why not?"

And that had been where that conversation ended, Sam suddenly awakening back in her own bedroom. It had been a very strange, short encounter and Reign had seemed genuinely distracted, puzzled and frustrated, but not at all vengeful or violent. Her arrogance had turned entirely into a childlike curiosity, wondering about her genesis and her revelation, wondering about her beginning and end, wondering about her destiny and her purpose in life. Ever since that one little encounter, although Sam still had not hesitated to destroy Reign when given the chance, she'd found herself so moved and intrigued by this gentler and more pensive side to Reign that it never truly left her mind, even after Reign had been killed. Now, a year later, Sam still wondered what else there was to Reign, aside from the vigilante justice. Was there more to her? And more to her personality? Sam wished she could know. But with Reign dead, all she had was that one little memory.

"And all the other weird, crazy, cryptic words of wisdom that she spouted at me whenever she came to torment me," Sam told Lena. "I know she was a villain, but there was a different side to her as well, a gentleness, and I wish I could've seen more of it. She gave me a lot of insight to all me demons. Granted, she wasn't exactly the most compassionate or understanding, but she was smart. She knew everything that was wrong with me and wanted to fix it. Unfortunately, her methods were a little... unorthodox."

"To put it lightly," Lena scoffed, but she was interested in hearing Sam talk about the side of Reign that nobody else had ever seen before. From Sam's description, she was like a really strange and really vicious therapist. Maybe rooting out personal demons was a strong suit of hers, but her empathy and gentleness still needed a bit of work.

"But if you remember, Lena, even _she_ seemed to realize how much you and Kara loved and needed one another," Sam continued. "I don't know if she knew Supergirl's true identity, but she at least knew that you two were close. Even _Reign_ knew how much you two meant to one another. I remember, because she told me about it," Sam trailed off while Lena nodded, a pained expression suddenly taking over her face...

"How much longer do you think you can hold me?" Reign had smirked, reclining in her prison cell like a queen on her throne.

"Long enough," Lena had replied calmly, trying to match Reign's cold, collected and almost regal demeanor.

"Long enough," Reign mocked in amusement, then her sly grin grew even wider. "For Supergirl to return..." Lena hadn't meant for it to happen, but she looked up, anger and pain in her eyes as she heard That Name being spoken by Reign.

"That's right," Reign gave a soft, sadistic chuckle, knowing exactly where Lena was the weakest. "I. SEE. YOU. Lena. Kieran. Luthor!" and once again, Lena recoiled. She had never told anyone her middle name before.

"I see your anger, your fear... your distrust," Reign hissed. "Supergirl is your "Hail Mary". You need her right now and she needs you, but, when this is all done, will you still need each other?" Reign had given her a triumphant and heartless smirk while Lena had tried to stand up to Reign, insisting that even if she and Supergirl didn't always see eye to eye, they could at least agree that Reign needed to be (and would be) stopped. But Reign hadn't been at all intimidated by Lena's threat. Her victory had already been won. Not against Supergirl, or Sam, but against Lena. She had struck Lena right where it hurt the most, and that had been the only thing Reign had wanted from that chat, for Lena's weakness to shine through. She had that small victory, knowing she had successfully gotten under Lena's skin. That was all that mattered to her for that moment.

As Lena thought about it now, she felt a chill run down her spine. How relevant those words still were, even one year later. Sam had proposed an interesting theory, an idea that Reign had known Supergirl's true identity. As Lena continued to think about that little exchange, she couldn't help but wonder if Sam wasn't correct. It would make sense, given that Reign had somehow known Lena's middle name. And it would definitely be in-character for Reign to attack Lena at her weakest point, by using something she loved against her.

Maybe back then, Lena had thought that Supergirl was different from Kara, but Reign's goading had worked either way. It only succeeded to really get under her skin tonight, however, now that this potential double meaning had finally taken shape within her mind.

" _Kara Danvers is your "Hail Mary". You need her right now and she needs you, but when this is all done, will you still need each other?"_

Lena honestly didn't know. What would Reign think of her, and all of this _mess_ , if she were still alive? No doubt, she would've only laughed and given that knowing look to Lena, having already foreseen this exact event. She would've been amused.

"Reign might have been cruel and merciless, but she was smart," Sam muttered darkly. A year ago, she had despised Reign with every fiber of her being. Now, though, she had begun to feel a grudging respect for the evil Kryptonian. "She knew everybody's weaknesses, even her own. Even if she was powerless to change any of them, she knew what they were, and how to get to them. She knew how much you and Kara meant to one another, and how much you and Supergirl meant to one another, and she did not hesitate to use that to her advantage. And then she did the same with me and you and Ruby..."

"She did, didn't she?" Lena gave a harsh smile. Lena then remembered what had happened after that little exchange about Supergirl had occurred...

"There is nothing, except you and me and that kill switch you think I haven't noticed. The one that will end me before I end you," Reign had growled to her, still taunting her, relentless and cruel. Lena had felt her heart twitch again in her chest, realizing just how much Reign already knew. But Reign wasn't finished yet.

"You're strong. Ruthless! You are so much darker than you realize. You're just like me..." she continued to purr sadistically.

"You wish," Lena had replied, but her voice had been so weak and quiet and uncertain that it was almost laughable.

"I don't have to wish, I'm standing right here, I can see it with my own eyes!" Reign grinned, continuing to challenge the Luthor. "The same eyes that will set fire to you and your world if you don't press that button and end me," she gestured to the device in Lena's hands... and waited.

Lena wasn't sure how much Reign had already known. Had she already known that the switch wouldn't work? Had she already known that she was so immune to Kryptonite that her taunting Lena about the switch had been nothing more than another petty mind game to see how far she'd be willing to go to win? It didn't matter. All that mattered was that Reign had successfully gotten into Lena's head yet again and nearly forced her hand to kill Sam. It might've failed, but Reign managed to drag those intentions up out of Lena and put them into action. If that wasn't power, Lena didn't know what was. And she had been willing to die to do it. Reign had willingly given up her life to Lena, all in the name of pushing Lena past a very slippery slope, into a very dark abyss. Reign was willing to die to win, to prove a point, and she had nearly done it.

For the life of her, Lena couldn't see why Sam would want a manipulative monster like that back, but Sam explained not long after.

"I guess that, as monstrous as she was, she was still a part of me, and I could never truly hate her because we had been bound together for so long," the Arias admitted lowly. It was clear that Lena was the first and only person to ever hear this confession, and it filled her with pride to think that Sam trusted her enough to admit this to her.

"Of course I wanted her out. I wanted her dead and gone. But she was still a part of me. I'm not afraid to admit that anymore. And that's almost why I want her back. I've noticed myself feeling a bit emptier and lonelier of late, without her there to talk to me, even if it was only to drag up some of my wort memories and fears and thoughts. She really was always a constant presence in my life even if I didn't realize it until last year. It really is a case of "you don't know what you have until it's gone", as messed up as that sounds," Sam continued. "I don't want her back for the companionship, I want her back because she was a small piece of me and my identity. And she wasn't always wrong either..."

Then she ceased talking and Lena could find nothing else to say in reply. A tiny part of her did understand why Sam wanted Reign back, though, even though no one in their right mind would willingly let such a monster return to life. It wasn't that Sam wanted her powers back, or that she wanted Reign's voice back. She wanted that familiar part of herself back just so she could feel whole and normal again (backwards as that sounded). But Lena understood. It was part of the reason why she had never tried to change her name or identity. Because being a Luthor was the only thing that kept her grounded. It was a horrible name to have, but it was still a name, with a family and legacy behind it, evil as they both were.

In some strange way, Reign was Sam's security blanket, and with Reign gone and Sam feeling so... unhappy, she had nothing left. It was how Lena had felt with Lex. She knew Lex was evil, but they had still shared some good memories. It hadn't been easy to watch him descend into madness and villainy. And it had been even harder to kill him, but Lena didn't regret it. If she had the chance to do anything over again, she wouldn't. And she could tell that Sam felt the same way about Reign.

The pair sat in silence for a while longer and Lena briefly wondered if Kara would ever be willing to part with her own alien side, if such a thing were possible. If it were possible to turn Kara 100% human, would she say yes? Or would she refuse, clinging to her Kryptonian nature? Wasn't it strange how people always had at least one trait about themselves that they despised, yet knew that they would never change, even if they had the power to? Of course, Sam had needed to change, for the sake of the entire galaxy, but the fact that she did occasionally miss Reign's presence and sadistic wisdom, especially when she felt lonely, was testament to how strange the human mind was. In the case of Kara, Lena and Sam, their most hatred traits also became the ones they clung to the most, just because they all had so much history with those hated traits, and even if it was possible to change those traits, Lena already knew that none of them would ever agree to it. Those hatred traits were their security blankets, and, god, did Lena hate it. She could still see Reign's knowing smirk in her mind's eye.

" _Kara Danvers is your "Hail Mary". You need her right now and she needs you, but when this is all done, will you still need each other?"_

"Why does everything have to be so confusing?" the Luthor couldn't help but gripe.

"Amen, sister," Sam joked dryly. The two of them continued to lie there in silence, and when no further questions or comments presented themselves to the duo, they finally agreed to turn in for the night. It was really late, and if either of them wanted to get any sleep before the sun came back up, then it would be best if they actually got to sleep.

"Goodnight, Lena," Sam sighed at last.

"Goodnight, Sam," Lena replied. "Thank you for having me over."

"Thank you for listening to me ramble," Sam replied with a small laugh, then she turned out the lights. Right before she fell totally asleep, though, she was sure that she could feel Lena's hand, gently wrapping around her own. It had been a very chaotic and hectic year for both of them, but at long, long last, they had finally managed to find some peace in each other.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Ok, we're finally winding down. I promise that there's only one (maybe two) chapters left. Also, Reign ships SuperCorp. Who knew right? LOL.


	7. Long Drive

The next morning was peaceful and slow. It was another taste of the domestic life that Lena so secretly craved. She, Sam and Ruby sat around the table like a proper and normal family, all three of them eating a casual breakfast. It wasn't anything fancy or complex. Not for the first time did Lena find herself wishing that she could stay like this forever. Everything was so quiet and normal and obvious. No lies, no secrecy, no death or deception or destruction or despair. Just a quiet little slice of life.

"Well, if you didn't want to go home, you could always just move in with us," Ruby offered with a hopeful smile.

"Ruby!" Sam chided with a laugh.

"What? Don't you want her to stay?" Ruby threw her mother a knowing look, which made her look somewhat flustered.

"Of course I do," she muttered. "But Lena has people she needs to get back to."

"They can wait," Lena replied with an amused smile. Even though Lena had only just found out that Sam had been harboring secret romantic feelings for her, she could already see all the little signs that Sam had been mentioning. Then, when Ruby had thrown Sam that knowing look, Lena couldn't help but wonder if Ruby didn't know too. When she had offered Lena the chance to sleep in the same bed as Sam, had she been acting as some kind of wingman? Lena couldn't know for sure, but it didn't seem too far-fetched of an idea anymore.

Seeing how uncomfortable and embarrassed Sam looked, though, Lena decided to be merciful and put things on a more playful path.

"Maybe I'll just run away to another country and change my name instead," she joked.

"Oh! You could run away to Europe!" Ruby said, sounding enchanted.

"Maybe Ireland, or England!" Lena suggested, playing along with Ruby.

"Would you still keep in the pattern of having a name that started with "L"?" Ruby asked. "Because I think "Lucy" is a pretty name!"

"Well, I was thinking of something a little more different than another "L" name," Lena admitted. "But "Lucy" has its charms."

"Well, then choose a name that rhymes with "Lena"!" Ruby suggested.

"Hmmmm, still a bit too predictable, don't you think?" Lena pretended to consider Ruby's suggestion.

"Yeah, and while you're at it, you can dye your hair blonde and change your wardrobe up a bit, maybe start wearing a bit of pink!" Sam finally joined in the conversation, looking at ease once again.

"Oh, god no!" now it was Lena's turn to look aghast. She wasn't exactly fond of the color pink. But that, of course, was exactly why Sam had suggested it, and she and Ruby both laughed heartily at Lena's vehemence against the color.

"At least no one would recognize you," Sam tried to reason through her laughter. "The Great Lena Luthor in pink? Yeah right!"

Lena tried to pretend to be annoyed, but she couldn't stop an amused smile of her own. Yeah. She could start wearing pink. And then perhaps she could pretend to be a simpering little airhead with a lot of money in her pocket, flirting around with some of the other European elites. Or maybe she could open up a science lab somewhere and fall in love with a pretty little fellow scientist there. That would be a laugh.

But once the laughter was finished, a more serious atmosphere returned to the table. Although the idea of moving into the Arias house permanently was like a dream to Lena, she knew that it was an impossible one as well. Maybe she and Sam both had the power to make this dream a reality, but Lena knew that, in her heart of hearts, she wouldn't truly be satisfied with such a life. As much as she loved the Ariases and as much as she envied their simple, open, honest, nondramatic life, Lena knew that it could never be hers. Not because she was a Luthor or because she "didn't deserve it", but because it was just not in her nature. A small part of Lena liked being in charge, and a small part of her liked all the action and adventure. She liked being a hero and saving the day and she liked knowing that she was helping to change the world.

There was a small but unchangeable part of Lena that, way down deep inside, wanted to get back to the frontlines and the headlines. That side of her would never be content with the mundane life of an average American citizen. She was not destined for such a plain and simple life, she was destined for a revolutionary and wild one. She could feel it in her heart that even if she could just snap her fingers, fix everything, and obtain that idyllic dream life, it wouldn't fulfill her completely. Her truest self, her happiest self, was out doing good things for the world in very big ways. She had to go back, so she could attempt to find that life again.

And the true Lena Luthor never, ever backed down from a fight. She still wanted to put this issue to rest, not just because it was the good, right or healthy thing to do, but because she did not like to leave scores unsettled. She really did want to confront Kara, and that would not happen if she chose to disappear now. If she really wanted to find a resolution, for worse or for better, and get out of this weird and dreamlike limbo, then she had to go back home. She had to go back and speak to Kara directly. So she would. And she would not rest until this issue had been put to bed!

"But do you think you could stick around long enough to take Ruby to school with me?" Sam asked with a playfully pleading look.

"Is this your way of furthering your fantasies about us being a couple?" Lena teased right back, muttering this statement into Sam's ear so that Ruby wouldn't hear it. Sam felt her heart jump in her chest, both from the statement and from feeling Lena's breath on her ear.

"No!" she pulled back defensively, but Lena could see how visibly flustered Sam was and she laughed.

"What?" Ruby may not have heard Lena, but she heard Sam, and was surprised to see how nervous she looked, while Lena was laughing.

"Nothing, dear," both of the other women said in unison, one looking amused while the other tried to regain her composure.

"Lena has agreed to help me take you to school today," Sam said, clearing her throat and trying to look collected.

"Oh, awesome!" Ruby grinned and Lena felt her heart melt. "But will you be going home afterwards?" she asked next, and Lena's face fell a little.

"Yes," she admitted. "As soon as you're dropped off, Sam's going to bring me back here and I'm going to go home."

"Do you think you're ready?" Ruby asked next, and there was nothing but sincerity as she asked this question. She was still incredibly curious to know what was wrong with Lena (all Sam had said was that she and Supergirl and all the others were fighting) but she didn't dare ask directly.

"I don't know," Lena confessed, smiling sadly. Though she still didn't know how much she felt comfortable sharing with Ruby, she knew that Ruby was a smart kid and she did not want to lie to the girl or try to sugarcoat the matter. "Your mother has been a great source of help and wisdom, but I still am a little bit nervous," the Luthor continued to admit, turning to meet Sam's eyes. Sam gave her a small supportive smile.

"Well, I don't know exactly what happened," Ruby hinted, but before her mother could chastise her for being so direct, she continued to speak. "But from what I understand, you and your friends are all fighting right now. I just wanted to let you know that I sort of know how that feels. When mom first started showing signs of having superpowers, I tried to tell some of my closer friends, but they didn't believe me. They called me a liar. And then after mom had to go to you for help, I had no one to talk to at all. It was really lonely, so I can only imagine how _you_ must be feeling."

There was a sincerity in Ruby's eyes and voice that made Lena tremble, both with worry and affection. She was worried in case Ruby was catching on to the full extent of the issue at hand, but she was touched because Ruby was being so open and honest with her, and with no reservations at all. Lena was unused to such complete and utter faith, and it still made her feel almost giddy whenever someone trusted her enough to be vulnerable with her, as Ruby was doing right now.

"And in regard to Lex, I sort of know what that must feel like too," Ruby continued. "I know what it feels like to have an evil family member," she said. But then she was quick to correct herself. "I mean, I know mom was never bad, but I know how it feels, to worry about someone you love, falling victim to something evil."

Lena had to blink back a few tears while Sam, herself, looked away in shame. In her opinion, one of the worst things about her time with Reign had been knowing how deeply it was hurting Ruby. More than herself and more than the rest of the world, Sam had feared for Ruby. It couldn't have been easy on the girl, to have her mother practically vanish from her life and then to have it be said that her mother was sick with something very dangerous that required her to be locked up in a cage like a lab rat in some secret location and forbidden from seeing her own child. Even though Ruby had had support from Lena and the Danvers, it still was not the same as having her mother, or having friends her own age. All of Ruby's confidantes during Sam's battle with Reign had all been adults, no other children were there to comfort her. It was just these mysterious older people whom she had only just met that year. Ruby was more wise to pain and loneliness than some people gave her credit for.

"I know it wasn't all quite the same, but I know what it feels like to be that lonely, and to be kicked out of a friend group. I know what it feels like to worry about someone you love and to wonder who you can trust, if you can trust at all," the girl continued quietly. Lena was finally no longer able to hold back the tears, weeping softly as Ruby continued to comfort her. It was one thing to have Sam comfort her, but to have Ruby do it made Lena's heart break and mend at the same time. She hated to hear how miserable and scared Ruby had been for that year, but to see how Ruby was able to use that experience to help comfort others, especially someone like Lena, made Lena feel so touched. Ruby viewed Lena as an aunt, but the two hadn't spoken in nearly a year, yet Ruby was still so quick to self-disclose to Lena, nothing short of entirely open and honest. Lena would always value the trust of a loved one over nearly anything else, and that feeling extended to Ruby.

Unable to find the proper words to express her gratitude and honor that Ruby was so willing to be so open with her, Lena only made a small gesture with her arms that Ruby understood at once. She wasted no time in embracing Lena as tightly as she could, and in a matter of seconds, Sam had joined in the group hug too. Lena continued to weep quietly as she felt two pairs of loving arms encase her trembling body. She had never felt so safe or supported before. It was a huge burden off of her shoulders to realize that there were still people out there who loved her, and who genuinely trusted her. It made her feel human. Trust was what linked her to humanity, and that was why she had loved Kara Danvers so much in the past, because Kara trusted her unconditionally and unfailingly. When Lena found out the secret, she didn't just learn Kara's true identity, but also the true amount of trust she felt towards the Luthor. That had been what had hurt the most. But with the Ariases here now, some of that humanity was slowly returning to Lena, and she felt hopeful for the first time in quite a while.

Eventually, though, the hug had to come to an end.

"Finish getting ready for school," Sam finally instructed, voice sounding fragile, like she was about to cry. Ruby didn't even respond verbally, choosing instead to nod once before darting back towards her room. Lena, meanwhile, was still sniffling.

"She is something, isn't she?" Sam asked with a wet laugh as she and Lena watched Ruby retreat to her room.

"She is," Lena nodded with her own teary laugh, sniffling yet again. "She is a miracle."

But after a few minutes, the trio managed to calm themselves down and when Ruby came out of her room again, her eyes were dry.

"I'm ready," she said proudly to the two women waiting for her in the kitchen.

"So am I," Sam grinned, standing up from the table to grab her car keys. She and Ruby both turned to Lena.

"So am I," she said and they smiled as she stood up as well, joining them out the door and into the car.

A few minutes into the drive over to school, Ruby managed to snag her mother's phone out of her purse. Since Sam's Bluetooth was on and hooked up to the car, Ruby wasted no time in opening Spotify and playing a song.

"I stay out too late! Got nothing in my brain! At least that's what people say!" Taylor Swift's voice began to blast out of the speakers.

"Gah! Ruby! What did you do?" Sam demanded, jumping a little, having not expected that song to suddenly start blasting out of her speakers.

"Turned on a happy song to help Lena cheer up?" Ruby asked with a cheeky little grin as Sam glared at her through the rearview mirror.

"It's a bit dated, don't you think?" Lena teased, also looking at Ruby through the rearview mirror, but with more mirth than Sam.

"Well then try this!" Ruby quickly switched the song.

"This hit, that ice cold, Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold!" now it was Bruno Mars' turn to serenade the Arias family car.

"This is just as dated!" Sam frowned. "This came out the same year as the other song!"

"Tough crowd," Ruby clicked her tongue, then she switched the playlist up again.

First came a guitar, then came-

"Come on over in my direction. So thankful for that, it's such a blessin', yeah!"

"Ah!" Sam's eyes lit up while both Ruby and Lena looked at her like she was crazy.

"Mom!" Ruby muttered embarrassedly.

"I can't believe you like this song," Lena agreed.

"What?" Sam asked innocently. "At least it isn't "Baby","

"Oh, god," Lena rolled her eyes with a sigh.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot that Luthors don't listen to pop trash," Sam smirked.

"Mom, _no one_ listens to Justin Bieber," Ruby muttered with a judgmental frown.

"No one?" Sam asked. "Not one single person on the entire planet?"

"Ugh," came the reply, then it was followed by another song-switch.

"Oppan Gangnam Style..."

"Ok, now _this_ is outdated!"

After Ruby scrolled through several other funny and upbeat songs (including things like "All-Star", "Best Day of My Life", "Party in the USA", "Call Me Maybe" and "Royals") the Arias car finally reached Ruby's school.

"Thank god," Sam joked as she reclaimed her phone from Ruby.

"Don't worry, we can continue after school," Ruby snickered as she hopped from the car.

"Well, have a good day," Sam couldn't stop a genuine smile as her daughter turned around one last time for a farewell kiss.

"Goodbye, Lena!" Ruby waved as she embraced her mother through the car's window.

"Goodbye, Ruby," Lena smiled tenderly at the girl, waving. Then, once Ruby finally pulled her head back out of the car, her mother rolled up the window. She gave them one last farewell wave before turning around to enter the school. Both Lena and Sam watched her go until she was inside the building and out of their sights.

"Sorry about that," Sam sighed with tired amusement as she dove Lena back to her place.

"What are you talking about? I thought it was quite cute," Lena replied with a grin. "I mean, true, maybe none of those songs are really my thing..."

"Yeah, they aren't really mine either," Sam winced.

"What about "Despacito"?" the Luthor reminded, quirking an eyebrow.

"Well, yes, but that's just one exception to the rule," Sam muttered embarrassedly, hunching over the wheel and looking away from Lena.

"Sure it is," Lena snickered.

"Well then, Ms. High-and-Mighty, what kind of trash do you indulge in?" Sam pouted. "Or does a cultured Luthor such as yourself only listen to classical music?" she added, sticking her tongue out at Lena.

"No, that was my self-absorbed, self-righteous brother, _Mr_. High-and-Mighty," Lena scowled. "He didn't listen to classical music because he enjoyed it, he listed to it because it was the "cultured" thing to do. And God forbid a high-class _gentleman_ such as himself listen to anything less than the works of musical gods and geniuses like Beethoven, Bach and Mozart!"

"I can tell you aren't a fan of classical," Sam laughed as Lena got more and more annoyed. As serious as her spat with Lex was, in times like these, the more childish side of their relationship became evident. On top of arguing about aliens, Kryptonite, the Supers, power and control, Lex and Lena argued about musical taste. It was a comically benign and small fight compared to their usual quarrels. But it added a tiny level of humanity to them. The Luthors weren't gods 24/7. Even they had their off-days and their little, petty moments.

"No, I do," Lena corrected. "I do like classical, but unlike Lex, I listen to it because I actually like it, not because I want to gain credibility and validation because I can brag that I listen to all of that older stuff," Lena sounded quite haughty herself as she said this, even raising her chin as though the fact that she listened to classical music "for real" made her more deserving of credibility than Lex. It was all Sam could do not to laugh. She wondered, briefly, what Luthor fights had been like before Lex became a warlord overlord and before Lena became an ice queen of a CEO. Did they get into the petty "he/she started it!" fights like other siblings did?

"We, like any other household, listened to variety of music," Lena began. "Of course, classical was always the norm just because of the social status and credibility of that genre. But we did listen to other things like pop, rock, jazz, swing, rap, hip hop, and pretty much anything else you can think of. I, especially, took into the punk scene when I was in my teenage years..." Lena paused as a dry smile spread across her face.

"What?!" Sam cried. "No way! You were that Emo Goth Teen?!"

"Yes I was," Lena admitted, wry smile growing even wider.

"No way!" Sam repeated, genuinely incapable of envisioning Lena outside of her well-kept, well-pressed suits and hairstyles. She was always so clean and cut and clear and refined. Had there really been a time when she was into grungy and dark things?

"Yes way," Lena promised over Sam's disbelieving laughter.

"You see, I may be a Luthor, but I am still also only human," she began. "And like all humans, I had my fair share of family fights. Then, when I hit my late teenager years, my Goth Phase arrived. And boy did I go hard! I mean, I wasn't a total punk, but I still really did try to look the part as best as I could. My hair was in a much shaggier cut than it is now. I wore all the Halloween-esque makeup, you know, the white foundation mixed with the black eye makeup and lipstick and nail pain. And of course, I had a lot of leather clothing and jewelry, all of it studded with silver spikes and chains and whatnot. But if I wasn't wearing my leather pants and jacket, I was likely in some sort of Victorian-inspired dress, lacy corset and all. And then of course there was all the fishnets, both for leggings and gloves. And heck, sometimes I painted little black tears at the corners of my eyes!" the Luthor added, gesturing to the place on her face where she drew the tears.

"That is too funny," Sam shook her head, entire body shaking with mirth at the mental image of a Gothed up Lena.

"And I had the personality and musical tastes too," Lena continued, laughing a little bit herself. "I listened to stuff like Panic! At the Disco, My Chemical Romance, Fallout Boy, and then some other, more indie and underground groups. It was a lot of punk and metal and rock and all the heavy electronic stuff that normal parents abhorred. It was a very dark, coarse, gritty and grungy aesthetic," Lena paused to smile at the memory.

"But I didn't just _enjoy_ those sorts of things, I even participated in them myself sometimes," she continued. "When I was old enough, I managed to DJ a few times for a bar not too far off of my college campus! I would go all Gothed up and just rock out, wearing the stereotypically large black headphones with the skulls painted on the sides," Lena paused to mime holding the giant headphones over her ears.

"A Luthor as a DJ! No way!" Sam snorted.

"Well, to be fair, I did pay the owners of the bar a pretty penny in order to be allowed," Lena admitted. "It wasn't talent alone that got me in. I wasn't totally above using my Luthor name and status and wallet every once in a while. But, god, was it fun! I tore up the clubs!"

Lena looked so smug and satisfied that Sam lost it once again, laughing so hard she was worried she would crash the car. It was just too impossible and too hilarious to try and envision Lena as a punk, and a proud one at that, and it was even funnier to imagine her rocking out as a club DJ, genuinely taking pride in that sort of activity. It was just so different from the Lena that sat with her now. That Old Lena had been "emo", but the one who sat with Sam now was anything but. She was wearing a casual sweater and slacks. This Lena was not the Lena of deathly makeup or vicious jewelry. This Lena was the dorky, nerdy, shy, sweet woman who was a big mush on the inside.

"What made you stop?" the Arias finally asked once she managed to catch her breath and stop laughing for a second.

"Lex," Lena replied, and that was all it took for the very last of Sam's laughter to die instantly. Awkward silence filled the car.

"I mean, I did start to leave that scene even before Lex took the plunge, but it was only after he became a supervillain that I was forced to leave every last little bit of my old self behind," Lena amended. "I had quit all the makeup and jewelry before Lex went on his war against Superman, but some old things like the leather and black, brooding aesthetic remained. All the dark clothing never changed."

"You don't say?" despite herself, Sam couldn't stop a laugh, reminded of their earlier talk that day about Lena and her mostly-black wardrobe.

"But then Lex went insane. He got himself arrested and, with him in jail and our father dead, there was no one left to take LuthorCorp. Except for me. And I didn't even want to! Not originally, at least..." Lena said slowly, sadly.

"Well, then what changed your mind?" Sam asked. Although she was somewhat surprised to hear that Lena had not wanted LuthorCorp originally, she could take a few guesses at what might've driven Lena away at first. But then why would she choose to take it anyway?

"Lex," Lena laughed dryly. "What else?"

"But he was in jail," Sam frowned.

"But his supporters weren't," Lena replied. "When no one stepped forward to claim LuthorCorp, all sorts of people came in trying to take over it. Some of them were friends of Lex. That was when I finally stepped up, and made my claim to the company. I couldn't just stand idly by and let Lex take the company back. I had to stop him somehow, so I blew him and all of his goons out of the water and I took it over and renamed it L-Corp and it has been under my control ever since."

There was a touch of pride in Lena's voice as she said this, though Sam could hear the regret and longing in her voice as well. Clearly, being the CEO of L-Corp had not been Lena's first choice as a job. And now Sam couldn't help but wonder what Lena might've done instead. If the issue about who was going to inherit L-Corp never existed, what would Lena have done instead? Would she have stayed as a DJ? Would she have continued to rock out in the musical world? Would she have still moved onto science and business, just under a different company? Would she have chosen something entirely different, like acting or modeling? None of them would ever know.

"But yes, back in the day, I did listen to my fair share of trash," Lena concluded, a smile returning to her face. As cringeworthy as her grunge-days had been, she still looked upon them fondly, because those had been one of the few times where she had been totally free, unbound and unbothered by anyone or anything. She wasn't Luthor. She wasn't even Lena. She just Was. She was the music, she was the rock, she was the clubs and the parties and the bars. She was a rebel and a fighter and a survivor. Maybe those last traits still existed within her now, but under a very different label. It just wasn't the same as those good old days, those more carefree times... The rest of the short drive home was spent in near perfect silence, except for a few times, when Sam could hear Lena tapping her leg and humming what sounded suspiciously like a Fallout Boy song.

Once the pair got back to the Arias home, though, farewells replaced the humming.

"Thank you again, so much," Lena murmured as she held Sam tightly.

"No, thank _you_ ," Sam murmured back, hugging Lena just as fiercely. "And promise me you'll visit again some time, ok?"

"Of course," Lena replied. "But it may not be for a while. I have some unfinished business back... back home," she forced herself to call National City her home. Because it was. She was going to take Sam's advice and not give up on it just yet. She was going to keep calling it her home. She was not going to be scared away from it so easily. Lex had already taken so much else from her in the past, continuously forcing her to run and move on and leave her own path behind. Now it was time for the tables to turn. She wasn't going to retreat any longer. National City was still her home, whether she (or it) liked it or not. She wasn't going to be run out of town unless it was by her own choice.

"I'm proud of you," Sam whispered in Lena's ear, feeling the strength and courage radiating off of her in waves.

"I hope you can stay that way," Lena admitted, just a bit of doubt entering her voice again. It was easy for her to stand here now and say that she would face Kara, ready and unafraid, but would she really be able to keep so much courage and composure once that moment of truth finally came? There were so many chances for her to slip up, or chicken out, or forget. There were so many chances for her to totally botch her discussion with Kara and there were so many chances for her to forget everything she and Sam had talked about in a moment of weakness or anger. Lena really did want to make this thing work. She really did want to fix everything as best as she could. But it wasn't going to be easy. What if she made it worse?

"I will always be proud of you," Sam promised. "I have never met a stronger woman, no, _person_ , in my whole life. Even if you mess up a thousand times, the fact that you're still willing to go back covers all of that."

"Then you clearly haven't yourself or Ruby," Lena joked, but she could feel tears of gratitude sting her eyes.

"We are on your level," Sam agreed. "But no one has gone higher than that... yet... But who knows? Maybe you'll set a new bar soon."

"For the bravest person in National City?" Lena asked with a wet laugh.

"No," Sam replied as she finally pulled away from Lena to look her evenly in the eyes. "For the bravest person in the world."

For a second, only silence reigned between the pair as they continued to stare deeply into one another's eyes. Lena could see longing in Sam's eyes and she knew that Sam still desperately wished that Lena would just drop everything and stay with her forever. But at the same time, Lena saw resignation and understanding in Sam's eyes as well. Sam knew that her dreams, at least as they stood now, were impossible. Neither of them would be content if Lena did choose to just run away with Sam at that very instant. Both of them wanted to see this thing through to the very end and, in order for that to happen, Lena had to go. And as long as Lena was willing to go back to National City, to home, and try and set things right, then there was still a chance that she and Kara would manage to reconcile and move forward in life, together, and without Sam. But it was a sacrifice Sam was willing to make.

On the flipside, Sam saw all of that fear and longing and uncertainty in Lena's eyes. She saw Lena's nervousness, her worry, her distrust. Just like Reign, Sam could see it all. But unlike Reign, Sam only applauded Lena for having the strength to fight through all of it and go back to the woman and the city and the company and the home that she loved. Lena was headed home to reclaim her throne, Sam could see it in the way she held herself. It was going to be a very intense fight, but Lena wasn't going to back down. She was a fighter, after all, and a survivor. Kara was a very lucky girl to have managed to win the heart of someone like Lena. Sam hoped that Kara would realize this and not take it for granted.

But at the same time, Sam's thoughts went out to Kara as well, hoping that Lena would find the gentleness and compassion within herself to be willing to see the story from Kara's side. And she also hoped that whatever demons Kara was harboring would one day leave her in peace. She deserved a happy life just as much as any of them did. Sam could only hope that Kara would find it. And her humanity. And, for worse or for better, Sam hoped that she would find it in Lena. And that Lena would find it in her. They both deserved it, and a happy ending, and each other. They needed each other, just like Reign had said, but in order for them to reach that unity, they both needed to listen to the other first. Sam had confidence that they could do it, that they could make it work, but it wasn't going to be easy.

"Good luck," Sam said at last, giving Lena one last hug.

"Same to you," Lena replied meaningfully. Maybe Sam wasn't headed off to reclaim a kingdom or a legacy, but she was going to be fighting wars and dragons all of her own, and Lena wanted Sam to feel just as prepared as she did.

"Let's just hope I don't forget all of this the second I get back into National City," Lena added as she finally began walking towards her own car.

"Fingers crossed," Sam promised and Lena mimicked the gesture.

Sam continued to stand on the sidewalk and watch Lena as she drove away, away from Metropolis and back to National City. Away from her and back to Kara. Her heart felt heavy and light at the same time. Lena, meanwhile, had since turned on the radio. "Payphone" was the first song that came on. Its chorus was painfully fitting for her situation at the moment. She allowed it to play for a few seconds, though, because she wanted to see Sam one last time. While Sam continued to stand there the sidewalk and watch Lena, Lena peered into her rearview mirror and watched Sam until the woman was finally out of sight.

Once Lena was well and truly gone, Sam heaved a sad and lonely sigh before going back inside to get ready to go to work. It was going to be a long drive over to her building now that Lena was no longer with her to keep her company.

Meanwhile, Lena continued to drive on back to her own L-Corp location. It was a long drive, and it was very lonely. She was leaving behind Sam, and a world of peace and quiet and safety. She had gone to Sam for an escape, and now that escape was finally coming to an end. She was now going back to Kara, and a world of turmoil, drama and betrayal. At the present, though, she was still stuck in that awkward place in the middle, halfway between Metropolis and National City. It was a very lonely and confusing place to be, and it was a very long drive before she finally managed to get home again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Finally! The end! Sorry this got so long! I didn't mean for it to! There was just so much to say! Sorry to disappoint anyone who had hoped I'd write a confrontation scene in this fic, but like I've said before, I just have no clue how I would write that, so once again, we're leaving it on a cliffhanger. Will Lena finally talk to Kara? Or will she forget herself again as soon as she crosses the National City line? That's up for you guys to decide!
> 
> Also, if this chapter seemed strange or silly, it was because of all the Katie McGrath references I was shoving into it, including a reference to her role as Lucy Westenra in Dracula and her role as Harriet in Freakdog/Red Mist (which was Goth/Emo Katie). And it was a bit of my own joke headcanons surrounding Lena's past during Lex's descent into madness.
> 
> But either way, hope you all liked this fic, and thank you to everyone who stuck with it, I'm finally out!


End file.
